Cubana and The Salsa
Well most of the woman that know me.....committee members (et al) they see and read these things and think.....WELL HELL YOU DESERVED THAT ONE....and then they watch as I embark on another STUUUUUUUPPPPPIIIIDDD adventure. A couple of posts ago I mentioned that love is not only blind, its deaf, dumb, and stupid....certainly short bus material.....in the words of Carlos Mencia (a hilarious commedian) DEE DEE DEE.....short bus...retard sound......Well I drive that short bus and get myself into all kinds of trouble....
What has always pissed me off about dating is I meet a girl,..she is hot, she is sexy, funny, smart, whatever,....and then comes the BUUUUUUUUUUT! But what you ask??? Well but:
you get the idea.....there is always a "but".....and those "buts" are what kills me....now some obviously I can overlook and some I cannot,...as you can well imagine.....I dated a girl way way back.....she was pretty cool, only moderately embarrassed me in front of my friends by the way she acted....she was funny, she was sexy, she was great in the sack....she also had this twitch thing...yep every so often her head would twitch noticeably on her neck....odd and didn't change that I liked her,..didn't happen all the time,...but it DID become rather annoying....that was a "but"
So now that I have prefaced this,.....I move on to Cubana and The Salsa:
Last week, I went back on Match. I didn't subscribe, but did reactivate my photo and profile. I wanted to see how many times I was checked out (a stat you can check) and see if I got some winks.....which I have.....(its a way of flirting without sending an email and I can't get email until I subscribe again). But, I went back on for that and to see if new faces had appeared on the lists yet,..and there was some new blood....I thought about subscribing, but decided that since I was going to a huge party Friday night at my watering hole,..that the probability was good that I may very well meet someone....one nighter or otherwise........
There I was minding my own business leaning against a wall near the back of the bar so that I could pick out the weak of the herd and plan my route of attack. I was looking as cool as I could, because yes indeed there were VERY hot women roaming around.....So I was looking cool, dressed nice,...and smelling good and did I mention minding my own business??? For those of you that might now who I reference in this post because you were there and know who i am talking about have to absolutely keep your pie holes shut about this to these people....I mean it....ask my why later,..but shut up until.....that means you Committee Member "K" and anyone else.......
So in walks two women I know well....one is a full time bartender there and off for the night,..the other her sister.....sometimes works there if help is needed. In tow is a leggy, nice butted, very attractive woman.....HEY SHE WAS AT THE BACK OF THE HERD....I began to plan my route....I also knew that a woman that attractive with all of these swinging dicks around would not last long.....luckily I didn't have to do anything except stay right the hell where I was,..they came to me......YEAH! Just then one of the owners of the bar ("T" a female). She pops me in the stomach as says "NOW there is a tall cool drink of water" T likes me a lot and rarely makes comments except when she think I should be talking to a pretty girl in the bar....I just laugh and then I am introduced to Cubana....very nice very sweet and fun to look at.....
Being a player.....I say Would you hold my spot on the wall, I'll be back in a minute.....she say "Yeah, I was looking for a place to lean" I giggle,...she giggles...WE GIGGLE. She's a player.....
I return and find her holding my spot,..and when I return she gives me the wall back....and I call her my "Wall Spouse" if ever a divorce we will split it 50-50.....laugh some more....a few minutes go by and we are talking....and getting along great....I leave her there....she was with friends anyway....and I in my cool ways.....just walk off and begin to mingle.....but I look back and I was being checked out....she caught me a few times....then I realized resistance was futile...I might as well go back over....we moved to a different part of the bar,..and she stands almost leaning up against me.....but her body is turned towards me...super open posture....we were ummmm errrr well hitting it off totally...guys come by and flirt with her,..but she always turns back to me....now with that said...you have to know that women sometimes pick out someone they could easily kill and keep them engaged, basically like a cat with a toy...they think its fun,..it wards off other intrusions,..and she gets the dude totally hot that she is tieing up to be killed at a later date or time......
She asks me if I dance.........I have stated this clearly before,..but will do so again.....I would rather lose toes if you told me to dance while shooting at my feet.....than actually dance......I can dance,..I just do not like to dance,...and I certainly cannot dance well......but men I will tell you..it may not be a deal breaker,..but a woman wants to see a man she is interested in dance....they get some sexual how do you do's out of watching it....they decide RIGHT then if you are going be a lousy lay or not.....however....you don't have to dance well,..just be able to move I don't call it dancing I call Air Sex...its like air guitar but different.....I manage to get away with not dancing the first one and she ends up out with Leisure Suit Larry,...you know the type of guy I am talking about,..so I thought,..hey thats harmless....songs over she comes immediately back....I ask her if I can buy her a drink...she thinks for a minute.....and says.."How about I buy YOU a drink" BOOOOOOIIIIIIINNNNNNGGGGGG....yeah you know it baby.....Player 1 meet Player 2.
Then a slow song comes on.....so I ask her to dance and off we go....very nice,...a little touching...lots of close talking while looking at each other....AND I got to show her I can dance......WIN WIN WIN.....all the way back to our spots we hold hands....kind of cool,..definitely interested in me. And me in her........we talk about college, drinks, sports, food, family...the whole enchilada and shortly thereafter she is teaching me the first moves of the SALSA.....Hell yeah talk about sexy....she is 1/2 Cuban....in Florida.....you could toss a dart in the air in a bar and hit a cuban every time....so not unusual,..but some of them are beautiful....they are different from other hispancis in my opinion....I have dated two part cubnan women....they both had great skin,... always had a little darker complection, and almost always black hair and deep brown eyes.....very sexy...for those wondering..Daisy Fuentes is Cuban...I LOVE DAISY.
We dance a few more times (each time closer) and I decide to giver her my card and number...see if this was all bullshit or not......I handed it to her and said...there is every way possible to get a hold of me without rolling over in bed.....I would like to see you again......but more than that I want to learn about you...she left a few minutes later with the two she came with...I walked all of them out (err staggered) them all out...I stayed and proceeded to get TORE THE FUCK UP....I was having a blast...the party was fun,..there was a shadow dancing box and between that and the booze the ladies were getting crazy...and I even walked in on a dude getting aBJ in the bathroom....things like this don't happen at this bar.....but nonetheless....it was off the chain. I closed the place out,..even helping them put up the chairs.....I get home around 2:30 or so and there is a message...its from Cubana....she says "Just to let you know this was not bullshit, call me back".
I call her back....we stay on the phone until well after 4:45 in the morning.....we talk again Saturday and Sunday WHILE I was at the Daytona 500. She would call and ask if I saw something (another Nascar fan yeeehaaa). And we would joke about drivers and things going on..it was fun.....We must have talked 7-9 times.....Sunday. Chemistry was there,..conversation was great,..Very smart.....couldn't get anything by her. Monday morning at 8:15 a.m. there is a message on my phone......from her....I couldn't wait to call her and wanted to call her before I knew she called,...but I also didn't want to be presumptive either....
Part Duex:
Cubana and I have spent many hours on the phone,...many. We talk three or four times a day or more. The laughs come easily, and the conversation even when about nothing is entertaining. There is definitely a huge attraction between us. We have things in common that on levels that are inexplicable. From Carrot Cake to favorite colors......I mean things that do make a cool relationship,..you rarely have to ask anything because if you like it,..she more than likely does and if she doesn't she understands why I might have thought that she would. Its very easy and extremely natural,..there is no pressure at any level. I was supposed to go see her while she was on a business trip to Orlando....the night was set and we were pretty sure that I was spending the night. The afternoon before, I heard a crack in her voice and commented it sounds like you are losing your voice.......by th enext morning she could barely talk, not only because of her voice, but becuase she had come down with nasty nasty flu......we canceled the trip down for me. It was for the better,..she was ill through the entire next weekend and into last week. She is better now and we spent what time she could actually talk talking......it is amazing how much you can learn about someone, when you both long to be together and know you can't. She also lives 50 miles south of me,..so drive by's and drop ins can't happen unless planned. But we were very content to learn about each other at the distance.......it gave us both a bit of security in knowing we alread knew we were cool together, but as people we learned more than most know in a lifetime about each other. I have experienced this before with my live in girlfriend back 4 years ago....we did the long distnace thing for a year before she moved down here. We were together 5 years and I can tell you that the bulk of the reason we stayed together that long was the trust and conversations we had being apart,...that case was 900 miles. We learned how to love and be apart, trust and be apart, want and be apart,...we had a very condensed realtionship. Crammed into 4-5 days every two to three weeks and supplimented by phone calls.
The same is true of Cubana. We can't really see eachother except weekends, between work and family. My Grandmother (Nanny) went into the hospital Wednesday night. Although my realtionship was new with Cubana, she knew I had to take care of business and spend time with Nanny. She knew that we wouldn't talk much, but left me many messages wishing my granny well and telling me that she wanted to talk to me when I got a chance,..all are very encouraging things for a number of reasons......
Finally I got to see Cubana again, Thursday night while I was at the hospital she leaves me a message wishing Nanny well and telling me that she was meeting two friends (one of which introduced us) in south Jax. Funny because Nanny's hospital was on that side of town.....I was in NO shape to meet a girl that night. I was in my "working in the warehouse" clothes, just left a hospital to see Nanny, and the day was well into 17 hours long. She all but begged me.
I went to publix near where I was to meet her and bought AXE body spray ( a good sub for cologne), some breath mints and a razor,..to trim my hairy ass up (not really my ass). I did all of this in the Publix bathroom and was ready to go, a splash of cold water, breath mint,......good to go. I went across the street to where she was and this was the first time to see her since we met although I felt like I knew her better than any woman I dated in the last 10 years....
To be continued
What has always pissed me off about dating is I meet a girl,..she is hot, she is sexy, funny, smart, whatever,....and then comes the BUUUUUUUUUUT! But what you ask??? Well but:
- She has kids
- She has a husband
- she has an ex
- she is dirt poor trailer trash
- she is emotionally clingy
- she is stuck up
- or she is missing teeth
- she is totally flat chested
- she has one leg shorter than the other
- she's very pretty, but 36-28-97
- she's awesome but a lesbian
you get the idea.....there is always a "but".....and those "buts" are what kills me....now some obviously I can overlook and some I cannot,...as you can well imagine.....I dated a girl way way back.....she was pretty cool, only moderately embarrassed me in front of my friends by the way she acted....she was funny, she was sexy, she was great in the sack....she also had this twitch thing...yep every so often her head would twitch noticeably on her neck....odd and didn't change that I liked her,..didn't happen all the time,...but it DID become rather annoying....that was a "but"
So now that I have prefaced this,.....I move on to Cubana and The Salsa:
Last week, I went back on Match. I didn't subscribe, but did reactivate my photo and profile. I wanted to see how many times I was checked out (a stat you can check) and see if I got some winks.....which I have.....(its a way of flirting without sending an email and I can't get email until I subscribe again). But, I went back on for that and to see if new faces had appeared on the lists yet,..and there was some new blood....I thought about subscribing, but decided that since I was going to a huge party Friday night at my watering hole,..that the probability was good that I may very well meet someone....one nighter or otherwise........
There I was minding my own business leaning against a wall near the back of the bar so that I could pick out the weak of the herd and plan my route of attack. I was looking as cool as I could, because yes indeed there were VERY hot women roaming around.....So I was looking cool, dressed nice,...and smelling good and did I mention minding my own business??? For those of you that might now who I reference in this post because you were there and know who i am talking about have to absolutely keep your pie holes shut about this to these people....I mean it....ask my why later,..but shut up until.....that means you Committee Member "K" and anyone else.......
So in walks two women I know well....one is a full time bartender there and off for the night,..the other her sister.....sometimes works there if help is needed. In tow is a leggy, nice butted, very attractive woman.....HEY SHE WAS AT THE BACK OF THE HERD....I began to plan my route....I also knew that a woman that attractive with all of these swinging dicks around would not last long.....luckily I didn't have to do anything except stay right the hell where I was,..they came to me......YEAH! Just then one of the owners of the bar ("T" a female). She pops me in the stomach as says "NOW there is a tall cool drink of water" T likes me a lot and rarely makes comments except when she think I should be talking to a pretty girl in the bar....I just laugh and then I am introduced to Cubana....very nice very sweet and fun to look at.....
Being a player.....I say Would you hold my spot on the wall, I'll be back in a minute.....she say "Yeah, I was looking for a place to lean" I giggle,...she giggles...WE GIGGLE. She's a player.....
I return and find her holding my spot,..and when I return she gives me the wall back....and I call her my "Wall Spouse" if ever a divorce we will split it 50-50.....laugh some more....a few minutes go by and we are talking....and getting along great....I leave her there....she was with friends anyway....and I in my cool ways.....just walk off and begin to mingle.....but I look back and I was being checked out....she caught me a few times....then I realized resistance was futile...I might as well go back over....we moved to a different part of the bar,..and she stands almost leaning up against me.....but her body is turned towards me...super open posture....we were ummmm errrr well hitting it off totally...guys come by and flirt with her,..but she always turns back to me....now with that said...you have to know that women sometimes pick out someone they could easily kill and keep them engaged, basically like a cat with a toy...they think its fun,..it wards off other intrusions,..and she gets the dude totally hot that she is tieing up to be killed at a later date or time......
She asks me if I dance.........I have stated this clearly before,..but will do so again.....I would rather lose toes if you told me to dance while shooting at my feet.....than actually dance......I can dance,..I just do not like to dance,...and I certainly cannot dance well......but men I will tell you..it may not be a deal breaker,..but a woman wants to see a man she is interested in dance....they get some sexual how do you do's out of watching it....they decide RIGHT then if you are going be a lousy lay or not.....however....you don't have to dance well,..just be able to move I don't call it dancing I call Air Sex...its like air guitar but different.....I manage to get away with not dancing the first one and she ends up out with Leisure Suit Larry,...you know the type of guy I am talking about,..so I thought,..hey thats harmless....songs over she comes immediately back....I ask her if I can buy her a drink...she thinks for a minute.....and says.."How about I buy YOU a drink" BOOOOOOIIIIIIINNNNNNGGGGGG....yeah you know it baby.....Player 1 meet Player 2.
Then a slow song comes on.....so I ask her to dance and off we go....very nice,...a little touching...lots of close talking while looking at each other....AND I got to show her I can dance......WIN WIN WIN.....all the way back to our spots we hold hands....kind of cool,..definitely interested in me. And me in her........we talk about college, drinks, sports, food, family...the whole enchilada and shortly thereafter she is teaching me the first moves of the SALSA.....Hell yeah talk about sexy....she is 1/2 Cuban....in Florida.....you could toss a dart in the air in a bar and hit a cuban every time....so not unusual,..but some of them are beautiful....they are different from other hispancis in my opinion....I have dated two part cubnan women....they both had great skin,... always had a little darker complection, and almost always black hair and deep brown eyes.....very sexy...for those wondering..Daisy Fuentes is Cuban...I LOVE DAISY.
We dance a few more times (each time closer) and I decide to giver her my card and number...see if this was all bullshit or not......I handed it to her and said...there is every way possible to get a hold of me without rolling over in bed.....I would like to see you again......but more than that I want to learn about you...she left a few minutes later with the two she came with...I walked all of them out (err staggered) them all out...I stayed and proceeded to get TORE THE FUCK UP....I was having a blast...the party was fun,..there was a shadow dancing box and between that and the booze the ladies were getting crazy...and I even walked in on a dude getting aBJ in the bathroom....things like this don't happen at this bar.....but nonetheless....it was off the chain. I closed the place out,..even helping them put up the chairs.....I get home around 2:30 or so and there is a message...its from Cubana....she says "Just to let you know this was not bullshit, call me back".
I call her back....we stay on the phone until well after 4:45 in the morning.....we talk again Saturday and Sunday WHILE I was at the Daytona 500. She would call and ask if I saw something (another Nascar fan yeeehaaa). And we would joke about drivers and things going on..it was fun.....We must have talked 7-9 times.....Sunday. Chemistry was there,..conversation was great,..Very smart.....couldn't get anything by her. Monday morning at 8:15 a.m. there is a message on my phone......from her....I couldn't wait to call her and wanted to call her before I knew she called,...but I also didn't want to be presumptive either....
Part Duex:
Cubana and I have spent many hours on the phone,...many. We talk three or four times a day or more. The laughs come easily, and the conversation even when about nothing is entertaining. There is definitely a huge attraction between us. We have things in common that on levels that are inexplicable. From Carrot Cake to favorite colors......I mean things that do make a cool relationship,..you rarely have to ask anything because if you like it,..she more than likely does and if she doesn't she understands why I might have thought that she would. Its very easy and extremely natural,..there is no pressure at any level. I was supposed to go see her while she was on a business trip to Orlando....the night was set and we were pretty sure that I was spending the night. The afternoon before, I heard a crack in her voice and commented it sounds like you are losing your voice.......by th enext morning she could barely talk, not only because of her voice, but becuase she had come down with nasty nasty flu......we canceled the trip down for me. It was for the better,..she was ill through the entire next weekend and into last week. She is better now and we spent what time she could actually talk talking......it is amazing how much you can learn about someone, when you both long to be together and know you can't. She also lives 50 miles south of me,..so drive by's and drop ins can't happen unless planned. But we were very content to learn about each other at the distance.......it gave us both a bit of security in knowing we alread knew we were cool together, but as people we learned more than most know in a lifetime about each other. I have experienced this before with my live in girlfriend back 4 years ago....we did the long distnace thing for a year before she moved down here. We were together 5 years and I can tell you that the bulk of the reason we stayed together that long was the trust and conversations we had being apart,...that case was 900 miles. We learned how to love and be apart, trust and be apart, want and be apart,...we had a very condensed realtionship. Crammed into 4-5 days every two to three weeks and supplimented by phone calls.
The same is true of Cubana. We can't really see eachother except weekends, between work and family. My Grandmother (Nanny) went into the hospital Wednesday night. Although my realtionship was new with Cubana, she knew I had to take care of business and spend time with Nanny. She knew that we wouldn't talk much, but left me many messages wishing my granny well and telling me that she wanted to talk to me when I got a chance,..all are very encouraging things for a number of reasons......
Finally I got to see Cubana again, Thursday night while I was at the hospital she leaves me a message wishing Nanny well and telling me that she was meeting two friends (one of which introduced us) in south Jax. Funny because Nanny's hospital was on that side of town.....I was in NO shape to meet a girl that night. I was in my "working in the warehouse" clothes, just left a hospital to see Nanny, and the day was well into 17 hours long. She all but begged me.
I went to publix near where I was to meet her and bought AXE body spray ( a good sub for cologne), some breath mints and a razor,..to trim my hairy ass up (not really my ass). I did all of this in the Publix bathroom and was ready to go, a splash of cold water, breath mint,......good to go. I went across the street to where she was and this was the first time to see her since we met although I felt like I knew her better than any woman I dated in the last 10 years....
To be continued
posted by Redneck Dave at Thursday, February 23, 2006
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