The Psycho, The Concert, and My B-day Present Pt.II
We start to hit it off pretty good. She is pretty good looking, we are sitting close together, open posture on both parts. After three more drinks we are about 30 minutes to show time.....she plants one on me (nice kisser) and says she is going to the bathroom in the theatre....I finish my drink and go with her. She goes her way, I go mine... I come back out an no Angela,.....so I wait by the door for a little while,...then I go get us two more drinks,....then I wait some more,...finally she comes out and tells me that some lesbian cornered her in a stall and asked her if she was... Ummm ok what?
I hand her her wine and we joke about it,...she didn't seem too drunk.....Either that or my littlehead didn't notice or care............
We finish up the drinks and head into our seats,...we are 6 rows back, stage right. As the concert gets under way,...its a very mellow venue....people stay in their seats for the most part and hang out,.....but not Angela.....Have you ever seen the movie "Blind Date"?
Where the set-up tells Bruce Willis, "what ever you do,...do not give her alcohol!!! NONE! No wine, no alcohol!!"....Well it was like that,..next thing I know she is standing in the aisle flinging her hair all over the place, like it was a heavy metal concert. I laugh it off and ask her over,..she complies,...for now. Then she starts just flopping around in her seat,..like she was having a seizure!!! I almost pulled out a popsicle stick to keep her from swallowing her tongue,..but nope,..she just loves music.......errrrr apparently. This goes on until she has effectively annoyed everyone near our seats.....I take her to the lobby for a little chat (umm to see if she was okay). I ask her if she is drunk? No! I ask her if she is okay? Yes...she is calm,...We go back in and she is calm for all of about ummm 3 minutes then off we go again...Jesus, I really wanted to see this concert!
With about 20 minutes left in the show, she heads up for the bathroom again.....gone still at the end, gone still during the first encore... I'll call her mobile,..hoping she decided to call a cab home...or is waiting outside....no answer. I call her again,..no answer.....Finally before the end of the last song, I go to the lobby. I yell into the bathroom to see if she is there,..no answer. I walk over to the bar area, no answer, I walk upstairs no answer. I come back down and as I get near the front door, and I hear this banging.....bam,bam,bam.....WTF? I look out the entrance doors and there she is outside!!!!!
I open the door and say:
D: What the hell happened to you?
A: I got thrown out!
D: WTF for? How do you get thrown out, there is like one security guy and he's 90.
A: I got thrown out!
D: Okay lets go then~!
I walk out of the theatre and she begs me to go back in and finish watching....we go back and forth until she realizes I am walking towards my truck and leaving her there. I tell her to come on three of four times, but she keeps arguing that I should go back in.....
D: IT'S OVER ALREADY, LET'S GO!
Finally she comes running down the side walk and her purse goes flying up in the air as she stumbles.....it was like a NASCAR wreck! Car parts flying everywhere as the purse begins to roll down the sidewalk. I turn around and walk back to help her gather her SHIT (actually to just speed up my embarrassment). I open the door to the truck we get in, we leave!
I get about halfway back to her car, and she is just apologizing, but will still not answer how she got thrown out....next thing I know her shirt is off and she is caressing her stuff!!! YEP! Right in the middle of traffic (now I have tinted windows,..but),.....no sooner do I stop the car then she is all over me.....(un)zip! So we stay in the parking lot for a little while near her car, I mean she is almost naked, adult, and doing bad (good) things.....Happy b-day to me....
I tell her I have to go,..she gets out. I ask her again,..do you want a cab, or for me to drive you home? NOPE NOPE AND NOPE....okay, well nothing more I can do!
I tell her to call me and let me know she made it home....I have a 20 minute ride, she has about a 5 minute ride. I call her mobile after 20 minutes, then again when I am home.....I gave life to this beast, I must now put it out my misery....
She doesn't answer. 45 minutes after we left each other, she still has not called,...I am obligated to call one more time at least,..so I do! No answer. About 15 minutes later I get a call from her,..she is being followed!! WHAT? Yeah followed and she describes this scene out a movie or something...I tell her to pull into the next well lit place and call 911. She says okay,..but he keeps flashing his lights at me,....okay, just do it I'll stay on the phone with you. I had a description of where she was, and my other phone in my hand one number left to press if something happened. Apparently this car had been following her the whole time. Now I was worried....She pulls into a gas station and tells me she will call me right back....10 minutes later I get a call after trying her cell phone three or four times and almost calling the police.....but I knew where she said she was and nothing would have happened to her there.....
She calls me and tells me:
A: Oh its was just a friened trying to get my attention,....I didn't know that was him....
D: You are a jackass,...good night!!!
The next day I had three emails from her in my in-box all were apologies....
WTF,..women need warning lables......!
Lessons I learned:
I hand her her wine and we joke about it,...she didn't seem too drunk.....Either that or my littlehead didn't notice or care............
We finish up the drinks and head into our seats,...we are 6 rows back, stage right. As the concert gets under way,...its a very mellow venue....people stay in their seats for the most part and hang out,.....but not Angela.....Have you ever seen the movie "Blind Date"?
Where the set-up tells Bruce Willis, "what ever you do,...do not give her alcohol!!! NONE! No wine, no alcohol!!"....Well it was like that,..next thing I know she is standing in the aisle flinging her hair all over the place, like it was a heavy metal concert. I laugh it off and ask her over,..she complies,...for now. Then she starts just flopping around in her seat,..like she was having a seizure!!! I almost pulled out a popsicle stick to keep her from swallowing her tongue,..but nope,..she just loves music.......errrrr apparently. This goes on until she has effectively annoyed everyone near our seats.....I take her to the lobby for a little chat (umm to see if she was okay). I ask her if she is drunk? No! I ask her if she is okay? Yes...she is calm,...We go back in and she is calm for all of about ummm 3 minutes then off we go again...Jesus, I really wanted to see this concert!
With about 20 minutes left in the show, she heads up for the bathroom again.....gone still at the end, gone still during the first encore... I'll call her mobile,..hoping she decided to call a cab home...or is waiting outside....no answer. I call her again,..no answer.....Finally before the end of the last song, I go to the lobby. I yell into the bathroom to see if she is there,..no answer. I walk over to the bar area, no answer, I walk upstairs no answer. I come back down and as I get near the front door, and I hear this banging.....bam,bam,bam.....WTF? I look out the entrance doors and there she is outside!!!!!
I open the door and say:
D: What the hell happened to you?
A: I got thrown out!
D: WTF for? How do you get thrown out, there is like one security guy and he's 90.
A: I got thrown out!
D: Okay lets go then~!
I walk out of the theatre and she begs me to go back in and finish watching....we go back and forth until she realizes I am walking towards my truck and leaving her there. I tell her to come on three of four times, but she keeps arguing that I should go back in.....
D: IT'S OVER ALREADY, LET'S GO!
Finally she comes running down the side walk and her purse goes flying up in the air as she stumbles.....it was like a NASCAR wreck! Car parts flying everywhere as the purse begins to roll down the sidewalk. I turn around and walk back to help her gather her SHIT (actually to just speed up my embarrassment). I open the door to the truck we get in, we leave!
I get about halfway back to her car, and she is just apologizing, but will still not answer how she got thrown out....next thing I know her shirt is off and she is caressing her stuff!!! YEP! Right in the middle of traffic (now I have tinted windows,..but),.....no sooner do I stop the car then she is all over me.....(un)zip! So we stay in the parking lot for a little while near her car, I mean she is almost naked, adult, and doing bad (good) things.....Happy b-day to me....
I tell her I have to go,..she gets out. I ask her again,..do you want a cab, or for me to drive you home? NOPE NOPE AND NOPE....okay, well nothing more I can do!
I tell her to call me and let me know she made it home....I have a 20 minute ride, she has about a 5 minute ride. I call her mobile after 20 minutes, then again when I am home.....I gave life to this beast, I must now put it out my misery....
She doesn't answer. 45 minutes after we left each other, she still has not called,...I am obligated to call one more time at least,..so I do! No answer. About 15 minutes later I get a call from her,..she is being followed!! WHAT? Yeah followed and she describes this scene out a movie or something...I tell her to pull into the next well lit place and call 911. She says okay,..but he keeps flashing his lights at me,....okay, just do it I'll stay on the phone with you. I had a description of where she was, and my other phone in my hand one number left to press if something happened. Apparently this car had been following her the whole time. Now I was worried....She pulls into a gas station and tells me she will call me right back....10 minutes later I get a call after trying her cell phone three or four times and almost calling the police.....but I knew where she said she was and nothing would have happened to her there.....
She calls me and tells me:
A: Oh its was just a friened trying to get my attention,....I didn't know that was him....
D: You are a jackass,...good night!!!
The next day I had three emails from her in my in-box all were apologies....
WTF,..women need warning lables......!
Lessons I learned:
- No matter how they talk or look they can still be crazier than hell
- Limit alcohol on first date to ummm errrrrr NONE!
- Online people can be freaks.
- The roomate she had was her ex and father of her kid,..neither I knew!
- NUUUUUUUUTTTTTTT BBBBBBAAAAAAAGGGGGGGG
- Its okay to get a bj on your b-day!
posted by Redneck Dave at Wednesday, October 12, 2005
2 Comments:
Great story, Dave. I've only hooked up with one gal I've met online. I met her through my blog, actually. I'll post my story later, but I'll tell you right now that it doesn't even come close to yours.
One piece of wisdon I've picked up along the way, "No matter how hot and attractive a woman is, there's some guy out there who's tired of putting up with her shit."
Great post.
that's a fact jack!!!! Somebody somewhere is glad you are suffering and they aren't anymore......
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