News Chicky

Okay,..well the booty calls that happened this weekend served many purposes. ThatGirl is obviously going to stay ThatWay. The sad part is that I really didn't feel anything,....ummm except the obvious.....we hung out we had a good time both Friday and Saturday nights,....but those jealousy issues and bursts of anger arose in her again....and by Sunday, nothing had changed in the bigger picture. I will get into details in another post.
However,......This was a great weekend for many other reasons.....PARTY PARTY PARTY......the end of October here in Jacksonville is always fun. Florida vs. Georgia game,...NFL on Sunday, Halloween, weather finally cools down, and the annual agricultural fair is in town for a week....There is more to do the last week of October than just about the whole year combined. Its a great time to be dating,.....ummm but you have to actually HAVE A DATE.....Certainly though, you can enjoy all of it without someone to hang with for sure....Sunday I went to the third party of the weekend at one of "Da Boys" houses. Seafood cooked every possible way you can imagine,....friends I haven't seen in years. It was great. While T's wife (A) and I were talking she mentioned that she had seen an old love of mine....News Chicky.
News Chicky and I worked across from each other in a mall back in the early 90's. She was selling coffee, I was selling electronics and drank lots of coffee. Her and I hit it off instantly. We dated for about 6 months and decided that it was love and that we should move in together.....She was cute, had a cool second job working at a local TV station, was well mannered, very even keeled, funny, hip, and absolutely adored me.....I felt it every time we went anywhere. To her I could do no wrong,..and truthfully it was the same for me....My friends loved her, my family thought she was great. And there was nothing I couldn't tell her.....at all.....
There was one problem.......she was 6 years younger than me....that is nothing at 35, but when you are 24 and she 18 its huge....I could go to bars, she couldn't. I had many nights out (not picking up girls, just out with co-workers and their wives,...but she often couldn't come because of where we all met). And mostly she was getting ready to start college. I had been through that with my first love. By this stage of my life I had both experienced the military for four years,..had a normal full time job, bills, college, and all the things that go with being 24. I felt like at some point she would move on and probably without me.....I loved this woman but had also been down this path before.....with my first love Eli,...and she totally crushed me.....right after she started college. So with News Chicky I felt like she would be better served not living with me,...going to school and growing as a person. I never lost my love for her,..but I did move on. We stayed roomates,..which really broke her heart since I began dating. Her work hours were opposite of mine, so she only walked in on me and a date once,....but by then she had grown very tired of me and I of her. Soon thereafter I had a girl spend the night and she knew it.....the next morning she stopped speaking to me all togehter. In my immaturity I never realized what my actions were doing to her and I should have just moved out if I was going to live like this.....I was a fool. Within a month we found other places to live and she began speaking to me again. She even came to my new place and helped me paint. Like I said, she was awesome.
Over the last few months I have seen her on television, both of my buddies have called me to say they ran into her or saw her special on the local news.....During the grief of ThatGirl family; friends and myself kept conversing back to the fact I probably should have held on to her. Truthfully, had I asked her to marry me then,..we would still be married today no question....but hind-sight is always 20/20. I have been unable to get her off my mind. Even ThatGirl this weekend brought her up, saying that she saw her on the news and can't imagine us having lived together. She said we seemed to be total opposites and asked my why we were together for 2 years. It was during that conversation that I realized two things....1) my love for ThatGirl could never be as deep or as multi-dimensional as was my love for News Chicky 2) ThatGirl doesn't really understand me.
I never really lost my love for News Chicky. I checked in on her from time to time to make sure she was alright. I called her a few times and emailed her as well. She was very stand offish (as to be expected). Last week I tried one more time to talk with her. I emailed her a nice email and kind of explained that she was on my mind and that I wanted to know how she was......she emailed me back last night. We are going to meet for a beer or go to the fair in the next week or so.I am as nervous and giddy as ever. No matter what,... we have a past and something to talk about. We had some really great times....I emailed her back and told her whenever is fine for me and that during the week might be better.
There is one reason I want to see her and that is to put to bed a demon that I need to shed after 12 years. I want to just apologize to her and tell her she meant way more to me than I ever let on....She deserves to hear that she was an awesome girl and no one has really compared since....I am not going to make it mushy or anything,..she just deserves to know.....what happens after that happens, but I need to tell her and she needs to hear it....I am not expecting ANYTHING other than a reunion with a very good friend and at one time my best friend....but I think secretly I may hope for more.....if she tells me to fly a kite, then I deserve that. So, we shall see and you can bet I will post it here.