Right of Passage

My grandfather was a barber and so was his father. Collectively between them was 125 years of Barbering experience! Now that may not seem like it means very much, I mean a Barber???,..but let me say that to me and any even remotely refined man it means more than anyone can explain......but let me try. Growing up, particularly as a little boy,..I would occasionally have to go to my "Pop's" Barber Shop,..he was either babysitting me or I was in need of having my "ears lowered". I remember those trips with such vividness that they are forever a part of me. The smell of Clubman by Pinnaud, the smell of Barbasol shaving cream, the stories old men tell when they hang out on a Saturday morning, talking about their gardens, their yards, their cars, their boyhoods, their kids, their grandkids, their families, and things old men talk about.
When I was 12 or so, Pop asked me if I wanted a man's haircut......I was 12 and in the sanctity of the Barber Shop, surrounded by men of all generations.....of course. And when your grandfather asks you that,..of course you say "yes". It was that day that I remember in particular. This day is exactly why every person should spend time with their grandparents,..and exactly what is some times is missing from our society......TRADITIONS...and the value your own history contains. Why was today a right of passage, just like that day?
Well, growing up around a 2nd generation barber is a part of Americana. It is a part of our history and a lost art. Today you roll up to the Stuper-Cuts or Head of Hair or whatever and walk in to several women either busy "styling" hair or giving a quick cut. Nothing that is even remotely close to the days of old. Now,...... its a matter of convienence or inconvienince depending on how you view a haircut,.....long ago it was an event! A Saturday morning,...a day for a man that worked hard all week to catch up on gossip, get treated royaly, get cleaned up, and relax for a moment in his life. This won't make sense to some that read,..but I will clear this up for you!
As I said this is completely a lost art,..most women that read this will have no understanding of it, until they see the results,..and most men that read this will barely remember a day as such...but I seek these things out! I am hardly the normal man. And when it comes to getting a haircut,...it is soooo much more to me than most.....and to me thats ashame...it is a pleasure for me and I look forward to it.....why? Because it doesn't have to be just a haircut!
Knowing all this,......I experienced something today that gave me new hope and made me feel awesome....Since I come from a barber background (although not a Barber myself) I appreciate getting the treatment. Women have manicures, pedicures, spas, and facials and many other things that sometimes can make them feel like a queen. Although men CAN go to get these as well, its likely you will be beat up as you come out of one of these places by any man passing by,...and as well you should be. But men, have little in the way of making them feel like a KING, which we all know outranks the Queen!! ;-))
Today I went to my normal barber,...which as I stated has become less of an event and more of an inconvienience. This all changed today when I met "T" the Barber. As I walked in, normally there are three women working there. It is a "Barber Shop" in the regard that there is a Barber pole outside and there are Barber chairs inside. But aside from that nothing special. Today I walked in an "T" was sitting in one of the chairs (something all Barbers do is sit in their own chairs and read the paper). I had never seen "T" there before. He hopped up and asked me to sit. For the next 30 minutes I got the treatment. What is the treatment? Well it starts like this......unlike StuperCuts or any other knock-off Barber wanna be,...you DO NOT get hosed down with chilled water from a spray bottle so that your hair can be cut. You are not shampooed with Aardvark-apple essence imported crap and scalding then freezing water while rocked back into a nasty ass sink. You get a dry cut, as it should be. So as I sit down, I explain what I want in Barber terms to a real Barber.....it was awesome,..he knew exactly what I wanted.
I gave him the run down: #2 guard sides and back, square the neck, even the side burns, trim the top to layer, cover the crown.......ahhhhhhhh great old fashioned Barber lingo....
He didn't proceed to just clip, he started on oneside and went around to the other like an artist. Then out came REAL Barber shears, not the hedge clippers the hacks use...but real Barber shears. I hear a noise, very familiar...he was sharpening them on a REAL leather Barber sharpening strap,..WOW a professional and OLD SCHOOL! For ech clip he made,..there was the tale-tale sound of three extra clips clearing the shears of hair. He didn't just comb the hair down and cut it even,...OH NO! He combed at angles and cut. He lifted hair with his fingers and cut.....it was Michael Angelo like. Then he went back to clippers to clean up the neck and ears. Then I hear my favorite sound in the world and as I was listening to it,...I felt the warmth of a hot towel placed over my neck and ears.....BLISS I tell you BLISS,...I knew what was next. YEP HOT LATHER.......over the ears, around the neck....man what a feeling! Then the freshly leathered straight edge razor (few people even know how to open one). As if he was a sculpter sculpting art in clay, he removed the unwanted short hair from above my ears and neck....that is a feeling I can explain to no one,..he gingerly wiped the lather off onto the still warm towel he draped over my schmock, that relaxed my shoulders.....the feel and sound of a straight razor trimming, is one you never forget....then immediately I could smell Clubman ( a very benign manly smell, so familiar to me...it is a light soapy clean fragrance and as familiar as Old Spice, just not near as strong and the same since the 1870's). He wiped the Clubman over my ears and neck to soothe any razor burn,..of course there was none,..but going from warm lather to evaporating alcohol,..will almost make you shiver with delight!
Was it over here???? Hell no it wasn't over, thankfully....I was melting in the chair. Then I got a light dusting of talc, with a REAL Barber "Duster" further cooling my neck and face.....I was dusted of ALL cut hairs,....not one annoying cut hair left on my face, nose, ear, neck....it wasn't in my shirt,..it was all strategically placed on my schmock. Then the last familiar sound......the massage!!!!! OH HOW I LOVE THE MASSAGE!!! See, back in the day when men got "The Treatment" the massager was an art all of its own, there is no rubbing, there are no attachments....it is the size of half a red brick. It plugs straigt into 120volts (not some wussy battery operated junk) and it had four springs that wrapped around its face. I knew the sound the second I heard it.......Wow PLEASE NEVER LET THIS END!!!!!! The Barber puts the brick on the back of his hand and the springs stretch across his palm. He then lays his palm springs down in three places resting about 10 seconds at each. He starts on the left shoulder muscle, then the back of the neck, then the right......this is no wussy vibration,..this is industrial strength I tell ya! So strong that when its on your neck,..your vision blurs.......
Done yet? Oh no......next he asked if I wanted my goat-tee trimmed. Why yes of course I would, thank you. Carefully and with precision first the clippers then the shears,...making sure all whiskers were equal. Then a quick snip of the eyebrows......to remove the long hairs that grow too easily here and no longer on top of my head!
Finally I was handed the mirror, to check out his work...PERFECT! And just as I asked. He pulled the schmock off of me carefully making sure not one hair landed on my slacks or shirt. During the entire time cutting we talked about fishing,..ohhhh how the reds were running and the flounder were fat and easy to catch on mud minnows......while talking he never missed one cut, never paused for a second,...unlike the hacks,..who have to stop to talk. I found a new fishing hole and told him of one of mine.....
Only one thing was missing and that was an elderly black man, shining shoes in the window for $2. I miss the snap sounds of a fast polish and mirror like shine,..but this was enough for one day. Women eat your hearts out! You spend $40 bucks on nails and manicures, and from a Vietnamese (as I am told are the best for this) lady you can't talk to. I spent $12 on this episode and tipped him an addtional $5, so all this for under $20. From now on the third Monday of every month, "T" and I have a Man-Date! To cut my hair, and talk of successes in fishing, and probably of our families, just like the tradition I was raised in.....
I walked out of there feeling like a million dollars,..no 2 million. I looked dapper, was not itchy, and was looking forward to the weekend when I can try out my new fishing spot! Truly a man moment...and we get so few!!!!! This is a lost art and a lost tradition. Women if you have children, get your husband or significant other (because Barber shops are MAN ZONES, kind of like a club) and take your boys down to a piece of Americana, The Barber Shop! Saturday morning is the best time to go!
If I made this sound virtually erotic to me,...its because it is in a weird way! AS I explained this experience to my favorite bar fly,...a slight man, short, in his mid 60's,....he knew of what I spoke and wanted every single detail! When I was done....he said that was almost erotic told as only the grandson and great grandson of a barber could tell it....we then traded barber shop stories from our youths, his cuts only cost $1.25 and he would walk there every 1st Saturday of the month. "T" has a new customer!
I tell you all of this because men require a "Cave" this is elluded to in Men are from Mars and Women are from somewhere else book. It is also noted here in part:

"GAINESVILLE, Fla. — From strip clubs and golf courses to barber shops and garages, a University of Florida English professor has pulled back the curtain on the last oases of unfettered masculinity and written a new book aimed at explaining just what makes those places so attractive to the burlier sex.

What’s more, those cave-bear haunts are on the endangered list, the victims of political correctness and gender equality, says James B. Twitchell, author of “Where Men Hide” (Columbia University Press). The book, illustrated throughout by photographer Ken Ross, is due out early next month.

When it comes to hiding, Twitchell says, don’t expect men to necessarily know what you’re talking about."

You can find the article in it's enirity here:

The BARBER SHOP IS A MAN CAVE and my new place to seek solice as it was once long, long ago....