Cubana,....The end....
For the last two weeks I have been trying to decide how to end the Cubana story. Most of all I had to wait for it to end. It perhaps finally ended April 28th. I say perhaps, because in many regards you never can tell,..and by the end of this post you will understand. I debated long and hard on how to post this and whether I was even ready to post about it at all...maybe I need a little closure,...but this won't have the details of past posts. There are still some very hurt feelings left in me and I am sure in her as well.... You can read about the beginning of this tale by clicking here:
When I met Cubana I thought to myself that there is no way in hell anything would happen between us, but each time we spoke, each time we saw each other it was the same thing. It has been perhaps 9 years or so since I was as compatable with someone as I was with her, and I can say the same for her. We spent only one afternoon, night, or overnight together once a week. We found ourselves spiraling into either certain death or true love. It was weird. She would tell herself that this was not happening and we were just friends. We discussed my dating, but quickly it became a sore subject. Not only did I not want to date,..but I didn't want to even think about another girl. She on the other hand claimed to want me to date,..but when I wouldn't tell her details of the dates I did go on,..she would press for whether or not I had slept with them or had feelings that could lead me to another relationship. I started to see some jealousy.
It was odd in that we were both looking for a way out,..but the harder we looked the more we found in each other. She began talking less her significant other and I began to hear of their true problems. Yes the "BUT" here was hat she was married. We both had a tremendous feel for each others emotions and situations, as if we had been friends for years, maybe decades. When ever we went out it was so easy to just be ourselves. We honestly liked being with each other and felt no pressure,..maybe I thought I was playing the field and what did I care,..and she perhaps thought what does she have to lose she still has a husband....I don't know,..but I will tell you that there was nothing,..... not even a little,..... false about whatever the hell it was we shared. We did a ton of things, from the Blues Festival to late night French toast. From pizza in one of the smallest towns in North Florida to walks around the fort at Ft. Caroline. We did fondue and had a fling in the ruins of the slave quarters at the Kingsley plantation (I think there are laws about that). For all that happened it was beginning to hit both of us that before long we would no longer be able to see each other. She is in a failing marriage,..but has a hard head and wanted to try it one more time. He had cheated on her and then got sent over seas....I knew he would be back and she was worried because it would either work out or get very ugly....either way we both knew nothing good could come from this....
There is so much to tell about this story that I will have to do it over several posts going forward, but I will give the conclsuion today. The weekend of the 23rd was my Birthday weekend and we agreed that she was going to take me out for dinner and some fun. She drove up and we made some drinks,...she was tired as was I,..... so we took a nap and just kind of held onto each other for about an hour or so....it was nice and there was nothing more to it....we got up and decided to get a snack and go to the pet store. On the way we stopped by the grocery and picked up some snacks to eat on the way to the pet store. On the road from there we found a new Cuban restaraunt near my place. So she said she wanted me to try Tre Leche,, three milk cake. We went in ordered some adult beverages and coffee. But by the time we were ready to order we had decided to also get a sampler platter of fried plaintains, roast pork,..and other traditional Cuban finger foods....I love Cuban by the way....after we were done we raced to the pet store and then to dinner before both closed, it was getting late. We talked in depth at dinner and it became clear there was much more to us then either of us had thought and we knew it was only getting harder to say goodbye each time.....we came back to my place,....so that we could check on her dog and walk up to a bar near my place that had a live band....and that we did!
We got there as the band was wrapping up,..but they always play good music on the system there anyway,..so we had some more drinks,...and then ordered some pita and huumus. The jukebox was playing some salsa or at least spanish guitar tunes,...so I finally learned the Salsa!!!! The very first thing she promised to teach me when we met. We walked home and grabbed her pooch and took her down by the river to walk....we held hands and picked hybiscus from the bushes around the apartments for her,..it was just a romantic walk....we got back to the apartment and she was on a pain medication for a bad ankle injury,..which made her very sleepy,..she fell asleep leaning up against my chest while we were watching TV in bed....the next morning she woke me up with a what every man should get on his B-day!!!! You do the math okay!!! we rolled around for another hour or so and fell back asleep....when we woke up again,.we got in the shower. I had to take her to the airport in about 2 hours, so there was no rush. I made coffee and breakfast and she was finishing getting ready. She asked me for a another towel,...I picked up her purse to move it from the clean towel it was on and handed it to her. We joked around about nothing reallY for the next few minutes. I came back in to the kitchen. She came out of my room with a look on her face I cannot explain and asked if I asnwered her phone......NO WHY WOULD I DO THAT? Well it was her husband who called and apparently when I moved her purse the planets aligned perfectly and he was calling right as I moved it. I never heard it ring and she frequently turned it off or to vibrate. Well the line was connected for the next 7-8 minutes....next thing I knew her other phone was ringing, it was him,..she went blank and walked outside to answer it....she came back in a few minutes later and said he had heard our conversation and commented that that would be the divorce....she needed to leave for the airport,..so we packed my truck with her stuff and left....it was awkward,..what do I say? Nothing would be right,...nothing would change...it was what is was....she vented a few times about him and what this would mean. She asked why I wasn't bothered by it,....I was,..but again what do I say,..we were just friends after all, right? I mean at least thats what we told ourselves.
I pecked her goodbye and we hugged,....she entered the terminal. I knew I would see her next Friday night when I picked her up...
The week was long and because of the time differences we didn't talk as much as we normally would. She was in training and I was working on several projects. We got to talk maybe once a night. But Thursday I could tell something was wrong. So I asked....she said her hubby had asked what really happened and she lied to him,..but that he forgave her for lying to him about all Sunday morning and where she actually was, yet he still didn't know the truth,..she is a horrble liar and rarely does it,...her memory is waaaay tooo short to even keep one straight, soo. She also told me they agreed to give their marriage one more chance. They had been together for 10 years, 6 married. I got a little bit pissed and we eneded up in our first argument. By the end of the phone call we had agreed that after I brought her back to my place she was going to leave and that would be the last time we would be together. it was for the best at least for now. I picked her up and we hugged hello,..and it was a silent ride until about halfway home. We discussed everything,..but there was still no other. She said she would know by July whether it was going to work with her husband as he was coming home for two weeks. I know they will fight,..they seem to do that the most, since I have been privvy to phone conversations between them, often not by choice. But she had to do what ever she had to do. We got to her truck in my lot,..and finally were face to face. We said wonderful things to each other and I looked at her and said...I don't want to, but I do love you and she said that she loved me too,..we just stood there, then laughed, then kissed deeply. We held each other for 5 minutes or so.....by the end we were both crying. I asked her to do me a favor: "If you miss me or want me and can't be with out me call me, I will not call you, if you find out I am the man for you, don't let anything stop you from coming back to me" She began to cry harder,..and threw up the pinky swear....and kissed me. I opened her door and we just stared at each other.....I walked away and stood on the sidewalk,...she backed out and stopped,...rolled down her window and beckoned me over. I went.
C: Maybe there will be a day for us one day again. I will miss you very much, you are very deep in my heart!
D: Just swear to me the minute you realize, that you'll find your way back to me.
C: David I swear! I have to do this though even if we both know what will come of it.
D: Just go,....but you are taking a piece of me
C: I leaving you a piece of me though.....
we kissed one more time.
I watched her drive off wiping away her tears, while I was wiping mine....she looked back one more time.....I waived. I have not heard from her since....I don't think I will....at least not until July, if at all....I am not waiting on her,..but I am far from being ready to move on....sometimes you meet people that enrich your life. Sometimes you don't find love,..it finds you. And sometimes it disappears as fast and furious as it arrived. Passion and love are very different entities,...but one could not exist without the other,..and when they show up together, a man,..this man becomes invincible.
There was much much much more to this story,..but I cannot go into it,...it needs to stay with me for now. I will miss Cubana and I am getting over it,..but I will never forget it as long as I live........and maybe one day she will find her way back,....and maybe I am better off without her,...and maybe there was a lesson to be learned.....what I do know is that two people met who could have spent the rest of their lives together. I know that, there was nothing superficial or fake about any of it. I know that I have once again ended heartbroken. I know also that one day I will find love like that again,..maybe even better.......
There you have it,...keep the comments to a minimum on this one.....I don't need I told you sooos, or it was doomed from the start. I don't need to keep my head up. I need to mourn for it,....and then I need to move on taking with me the best B-day I ever had, my new ability to dance the Salsa,...and a secret hope her and I will cross paths again.
So for a little while I will not be dating....too much has happened in the last year to make me over anxious on anything to do with dating. I will still be posting and if opportunities arise I will address each, but for now I have many things going on,..see next post...
When I met Cubana I thought to myself that there is no way in hell anything would happen between us, but each time we spoke, each time we saw each other it was the same thing. It has been perhaps 9 years or so since I was as compatable with someone as I was with her, and I can say the same for her. We spent only one afternoon, night, or overnight together once a week. We found ourselves spiraling into either certain death or true love. It was weird. She would tell herself that this was not happening and we were just friends. We discussed my dating, but quickly it became a sore subject. Not only did I not want to date,..but I didn't want to even think about another girl. She on the other hand claimed to want me to date,..but when I wouldn't tell her details of the dates I did go on,..she would press for whether or not I had slept with them or had feelings that could lead me to another relationship. I started to see some jealousy.
It was odd in that we were both looking for a way out,..but the harder we looked the more we found in each other. She began talking less her significant other and I began to hear of their true problems. Yes the "BUT" here was hat she was married. We both had a tremendous feel for each others emotions and situations, as if we had been friends for years, maybe decades. When ever we went out it was so easy to just be ourselves. We honestly liked being with each other and felt no pressure,..maybe I thought I was playing the field and what did I care,..and she perhaps thought what does she have to lose she still has a husband....I don't know,..but I will tell you that there was nothing,..... not even a little,..... false about whatever the hell it was we shared. We did a ton of things, from the Blues Festival to late night French toast. From pizza in one of the smallest towns in North Florida to walks around the fort at Ft. Caroline. We did fondue and had a fling in the ruins of the slave quarters at the Kingsley plantation (I think there are laws about that). For all that happened it was beginning to hit both of us that before long we would no longer be able to see each other. She is in a failing marriage,..but has a hard head and wanted to try it one more time. He had cheated on her and then got sent over seas....I knew he would be back and she was worried because it would either work out or get very ugly....either way we both knew nothing good could come from this....
There is so much to tell about this story that I will have to do it over several posts going forward, but I will give the conclsuion today. The weekend of the 23rd was my Birthday weekend and we agreed that she was going to take me out for dinner and some fun. She drove up and we made some drinks,...she was tired as was I,..... so we took a nap and just kind of held onto each other for about an hour or so....it was nice and there was nothing more to it....we got up and decided to get a snack and go to the pet store. On the way we stopped by the grocery and picked up some snacks to eat on the way to the pet store. On the road from there we found a new Cuban restaraunt near my place. So she said she wanted me to try Tre Leche,, three milk cake. We went in ordered some adult beverages and coffee. But by the time we were ready to order we had decided to also get a sampler platter of fried plaintains, roast pork,..and other traditional Cuban finger foods....I love Cuban by the way....after we were done we raced to the pet store and then to dinner before both closed, it was getting late. We talked in depth at dinner and it became clear there was much more to us then either of us had thought and we knew it was only getting harder to say goodbye each time.....we came back to my place,....so that we could check on her dog and walk up to a bar near my place that had a live band....and that we did!
We got there as the band was wrapping up,..but they always play good music on the system there anyway,..so we had some more drinks,...and then ordered some pita and huumus. The jukebox was playing some salsa or at least spanish guitar tunes,...so I finally learned the Salsa!!!! The very first thing she promised to teach me when we met. We walked home and grabbed her pooch and took her down by the river to walk....we held hands and picked hybiscus from the bushes around the apartments for her,..it was just a romantic walk....we got back to the apartment and she was on a pain medication for a bad ankle injury,..which made her very sleepy,..she fell asleep leaning up against my chest while we were watching TV in bed....the next morning she woke me up with a what every man should get on his B-day!!!! You do the math okay!!! we rolled around for another hour or so and fell back asleep....when we woke up again,.we got in the shower. I had to take her to the airport in about 2 hours, so there was no rush. I made coffee and breakfast and she was finishing getting ready. She asked me for a another towel,...I picked up her purse to move it from the clean towel it was on and handed it to her. We joked around about nothing reallY for the next few minutes. I came back in to the kitchen. She came out of my room with a look on her face I cannot explain and asked if I asnwered her phone......NO WHY WOULD I DO THAT? Well it was her husband who called and apparently when I moved her purse the planets aligned perfectly and he was calling right as I moved it. I never heard it ring and she frequently turned it off or to vibrate. Well the line was connected for the next 7-8 minutes....next thing I knew her other phone was ringing, it was him,..she went blank and walked outside to answer it....she came back in a few minutes later and said he had heard our conversation and commented that that would be the divorce....she needed to leave for the airport,..so we packed my truck with her stuff and left....it was awkward,..what do I say? Nothing would be right,...nothing would change...it was what is was....she vented a few times about him and what this would mean. She asked why I wasn't bothered by it,....I was,..but again what do I say,..we were just friends after all, right? I mean at least thats what we told ourselves.
I pecked her goodbye and we hugged,....she entered the terminal. I knew I would see her next Friday night when I picked her up...
The week was long and because of the time differences we didn't talk as much as we normally would. She was in training and I was working on several projects. We got to talk maybe once a night. But Thursday I could tell something was wrong. So I asked....she said her hubby had asked what really happened and she lied to him,..but that he forgave her for lying to him about all Sunday morning and where she actually was, yet he still didn't know the truth,..she is a horrble liar and rarely does it,...her memory is waaaay tooo short to even keep one straight, soo. She also told me they agreed to give their marriage one more chance. They had been together for 10 years, 6 married. I got a little bit pissed and we eneded up in our first argument. By the end of the phone call we had agreed that after I brought her back to my place she was going to leave and that would be the last time we would be together. it was for the best at least for now. I picked her up and we hugged hello,..and it was a silent ride until about halfway home. We discussed everything,..but there was still no other. She said she would know by July whether it was going to work with her husband as he was coming home for two weeks. I know they will fight,..they seem to do that the most, since I have been privvy to phone conversations between them, often not by choice. But she had to do what ever she had to do. We got to her truck in my lot,..and finally were face to face. We said wonderful things to each other and I looked at her and said...I don't want to, but I do love you and she said that she loved me too,..we just stood there, then laughed, then kissed deeply. We held each other for 5 minutes or so.....by the end we were both crying. I asked her to do me a favor: "If you miss me or want me and can't be with out me call me, I will not call you, if you find out I am the man for you, don't let anything stop you from coming back to me" She began to cry harder,..and threw up the pinky swear....and kissed me. I opened her door and we just stared at each other.....I walked away and stood on the sidewalk,...she backed out and stopped,...rolled down her window and beckoned me over. I went.
C: Maybe there will be a day for us one day again. I will miss you very much, you are very deep in my heart!
D: Just swear to me the minute you realize, that you'll find your way back to me.
C: David I swear! I have to do this though even if we both know what will come of it.
D: Just go,....but you are taking a piece of me
C: I leaving you a piece of me though.....
we kissed one more time.
I watched her drive off wiping away her tears, while I was wiping mine....she looked back one more time.....I waived. I have not heard from her since....I don't think I will....at least not until July, if at all....I am not waiting on her,..but I am far from being ready to move on....sometimes you meet people that enrich your life. Sometimes you don't find love,..it finds you. And sometimes it disappears as fast and furious as it arrived. Passion and love are very different entities,...but one could not exist without the other,..and when they show up together, a man,..this man becomes invincible.
There was much much much more to this story,..but I cannot go into it,...it needs to stay with me for now. I will miss Cubana and I am getting over it,..but I will never forget it as long as I live........and maybe one day she will find her way back,....and maybe I am better off without her,...and maybe there was a lesson to be learned.....what I do know is that two people met who could have spent the rest of their lives together. I know that, there was nothing superficial or fake about any of it. I know that I have once again ended heartbroken. I know also that one day I will find love like that again,..maybe even better.......
There you have it,...keep the comments to a minimum on this one.....I don't need I told you sooos, or it was doomed from the start. I don't need to keep my head up. I need to mourn for it,....and then I need to move on taking with me the best B-day I ever had, my new ability to dance the Salsa,...and a secret hope her and I will cross paths again.
So for a little while I will not be dating....too much has happened in the last year to make me over anxious on anything to do with dating. I will still be posting and if opportunities arise I will address each, but for now I have many things going on,..see next post...
posted by Redneck Dave at Monday, May 08, 2006
1 Comments:
If you really feel that way about her, then go get her...emotionally. Don't allow her to walk out of your life. You only live once. Tell her you want her and you need her. Don't be passive about it and let her cry and you be miserable. Tell her to ditch her husband and be with you, in no uncertain terms. Life is short. Grab it.
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