Booty Calls....GOOD FOR THE SOUL

Okay,.....so I haven't heard from "If" since last post.....errr wait one email. Then suddenly, Friday night as I was being stood up by my Booty Call (who called to say she had to work the next day and maybe tomorrow) I get a phone call from "If" AT 12:35 a.m. COOL......NEXT!
BUUUUuuuuuuuuutttttt,.......Since I was home alone and grilling out for one and am completely enjoying the new place,..I had some tunes on, some chicken on the grill, and was drinking like it was Friday night......by 12:35 I wasn't really worth much of a shit,.....but oh well she probably wasn't either.......................Well I didn't get booty called,..but she did come over and we hung out for a couple of hours......she called me again this week...so thus is dating,....Booty Calls are good for the soul.....and Saturday night I got the postponed aforementioned....."BACK ON THE HORSE!!" I SAY!!! Sooooooo,...still dating, still single,....still hoping "If" will come around and add a new player (ummm not the Booty Call),.....but a MySpace alien....We shall call her "Mermaid". She is very pretty, she is well employed, she is very funny, She is my age, no kids, wants kids,.....she also appears to be half involved in a long distance thing that is at the point of commit or get lost....................She emails me every day at least.......and has my number,......we will see what she does.....I think the ultimatum gets leveled to "Long Distance Boy" this week......
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm its all very friendly and funny right now......I'll let you know! I could be punching well above my weight with her.....naahhhhhhh David vs. Goliath, hmmmmmmmmm

E-dating or E-Stalking (you're not going to believe this!!)

Some people need to stay single and certainly should be shown the way out of the gene pool by the life guards. There was a time when Darwin had it right,...the stupid and weak would kill themselves off and the strongest would survive. Unfortunately, it appears, that we allow too many stupid people to stay alive,..by helping them after they do something stupid, saving their lives after they do something stupid, dumbing down laws to allow them to be more stupid, and mostly allowing them to E-date......

Okay, sooooooo with that said. I was actually reading current events (since I am a war buff) and was on a blog reading about the current conflict in Lebanon. I was on a Jewish site, seeing what the Israelis were really trying to do (hopefully kick some terrorist ass,..but I digress). The Jews, Go love them, (err and he does apparently), can put war and life on the same page. I mean that is reading of the horrible things going on around them and to them,..they still E-date and try to live normal lives. I suspect that since theyhave been at war for their entire existence it is just a part of life to them. So I am reading about war and on the same site is a story about an E-date (From J-date,...a Jewish online dating site) and I actually shot Dr. Pepper out of my nose.....sooooooooooooooooooo I am going to post some of it and give you some details,..but I urge you to click the link to the read the whole thing.......They even have audio!!!

MAN THIS IS FUNNY!

So it goes like this...........

Guy goes on J-date looking for a mate (hey that rhymes,..look at me the poet!)
He sets up a pretty normal profile:

About me:

I joined JDate four weeks ago. Cute, tall and funny best describes me!
I am a person whom is usually on the go, particularly in the warm
weather. In the summertime you can typically find me on the beaches in the
Hampton's or New Jersey shore. In the wintertime I enjoy taking drives
to beautiful towns such as Lambertsville, Red Bank, Katonah, Port
Jefferson and Greenwich. "People watching" can be an easily enjoyable
activity for me. I own a management consulting firm assisting financial
institutions with regulatory issues. I travel extensively for business and
pleasure.

I am looking for:

I am on JDate to find someone special. I have no set rules per se on
dating someone younger/older (20-40). I have learned that age really does
not matter; so why limit any possibilities in finding a life long
partner. Wouldn't you agree? Physcial characteristics: Preferably tall and
medium build. Mentally: Fun and easy going. Someone who is comfortable
with themselves. I love a good jokester so please be funny!

Okay so pretty normal.............then he goes on with more details and so forth, typical of this genre of dating.

He gets a date:

So Darren asks Joanne out. Joanne accepts. They eat at China Grill. (Nice restaurant. I've been there.) Darren pays, despite Joanne offering to split the check.

At some point after the meal, Darren gets the idea that Joanne didn't like him.

Rather than just chalk it up to a bad date (hey, it happens, right?) Darren... Well, Darren has other plans.

DARREN EMAILS JOANNE ASKING HER TO SEND HIM $50 FOR HER PORTION OF DINNER.

Yes. I paused and re-read that about 30 times, too.

I couldn't be serious, could I? He actually didn't email that, did he? Oh, but he did:

Yeah he emails her.....I thought this was funny at first. It was not quite said what made "Paranoid Darren" think she didn't like him,...maybe she picked up a waiter while there. Maybe, just maybe,...she told him,...maybe he's just a jackass and most people don't like him and he just suspected,...so Ithought okay well,..that's pretty funny,.....but he was beyond serious.

This story is credited to a fellow blogger PRDifferently the full post is here: I have asked his permission and will remove it if he denies,..but this story is begging to be told.....

Well Darren sends this email:

From: Darren Sherman
Date: Jun 19, 2006 8:48 PM
Subject: Date
To: xxxxx@xxxxxx.com
:
Cc:


Sorry things didn't work out. I guess you changed your
mind.
Here is my address for the $50 bucks:
East Street, Apt. 504
NY NY 10028
Take care,
Darren



Then he gets no response....so what does a ballsy, single, psycho who feels jilted do??? Sends another email of course:


From: Darren Sherman
Date: Jun 20, 2006 8:13 AM
Subject: Darren
To: xxxxx@xxxxxx.com
:
Cc:


Joanne,

I wanted to follow up on my email and call to you last night to ensure you received my messages for the $50.

Please acknowledge by replying to this email that you will be sending me the $50.

I hope you understand from my point of view.

Thanks,
Darren

Okay go read the rest PRDifferently tells this story way better than I:
The dude even calls the place they ate and sends her his Amex bill.......don't miss this:

Thanks PRDifferently:
http://prdifferently.typepad.com/my_weblog/2006/07/how_not_to_act_.html

10 THINGS MEN KNOW FOR SURE ABOUT WOMEN

The Top Ten Things Men Know "FOR SURE" About Women

1.



2.





3.



4.





5.



6.



7.



8.



9.



10. They have boobs.

"If" Date #3 and #4, The End

Okay so I will wrap this up as this young lady didn't last long,..no need to go into great detail. it was typical of dating,..you win some you lose some,...and sometimes you can get some action either way...............
Date #3 was inpromptu, she called me on a Friday and we went to the same bar we ended up at last date to watch a band.....we had a great time,...but as the conversations went on I could tell she was really messed up by her last relationship.....I suspect she moved back home, because she was insecure,...and she may have also needed the protection................okay RED FLAG!!! WARNING: Intruder Alert! Intruder Alert! But my libido was in over drive and we ended up hanging all over each other anyway.................hey I can't help it,..I'm a man..............she was even buying the drinks.....................AAAAAHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I love it when I get to be the chick on the date,......I still bought a round or two,..but she was totally diggin me..................we had a great time and I took her home around 3. The apartment was being packed up and was filthy and she lived with her folks,................so I had no choice, but to take her to her house and say good night!! Damn the luck!
I probably had my best chance that night of getting in on the goods!.........But still int he back of my mind I started to notice the issues she was having and had! She had lost a series of points through the night with comments.....and actions.............but was gaining points with affection and some great kissing!!!! The issues were winning though.....

We agreed to go out again,..but she would not commit to two things I asked her about one 1 week away another 2 weeks away,....as suggested dating venues...........onme issue was that she was very wishy washy...back and forth on subjects and opinions.....she was all over the map................sometimes women are,..but this stuck out..............

Come Tuesday of the following week,...she had talked me into going to a concert.....I buy mine, she buys hers................I assumed that she wanted to go Dutch..................WRONGO! Ended up costing me $75 bucks at the bar,.....and she never once offered to buy her drinks,..I assumed we were ona date so this was no issue,..once I started paying for eveything barring her ticket,...but that was not the case...and she made it known....................I am a classic people observer and I should have known going into the place that she was there for show and not by me,..but using me.................DAMN I AM A SUCKER FOR THIS TACTIC...................See it goes like this: We were standing outside in the line to come in.................and she made an ominous but passing comment about seeing people she knows at this particular venue...........she didn't say who,....it was just "People"................but after going in I had shaken hands with several people I knew there and she had known no one thus far,....to me that meant it isn't really people we are looking for but perhaps 1 person...........maybe her ex,....or at least acquaintances of his. As we stood there watching the opening band,...I couldn't help but notice her constantly looking around......but then when I looked at her she looked at me.....we kissed a couple of little pecks through out the night,..but she was completely not being what had been typical of our dates thus far...............not even close.............she wanted to be there with me,...but not with me.....understand? After she kept looking around I asked her,..."who are you looking for"? I also didn't want to be blind sided if she found them or they her either............you know.....ex's can get jealous.....so this was a self preservation issue for me................anyway,..the mood between us began to deteriorate through out the night although concert was awesome.................Little was said on the way home,..so it was like she was disappointed in not finding whoever she was looking for...........

The day after next we talked on the phone and I asked her what was wrong,..and why did two nights before go bad,.....and she went into the diatribe about how come we can't just go hang out somewhere and not be on a date....honestly I had no idea what she was talking about except if we were dutch why wasn't she buying her own drinks...........and one minute she was being very sweet and the next was moody as hell,......knowing women as I do,...this is not SO unusual,..BUUUUUUUUUTTTTT....................

Well we got off the phone and I sent an email for her to see in the morning at work,...just backing off and telling her hey we have had three great dates and one so-so,....we'll chalk it up to experience..........I got no response,.....that night she called me and I had already committed a ticket to the race in Daytona the following Saturday night to her.....so this was Tuesday,...I had brought it up all weekend,..because I had other people to take,...she was excited about it........as was I. This was her "Tolerance Date",.............again she got all wishy washy when I asked point blank "ARE you going to the race with me?"...................she said she didn't know and would let me know the next day...................I was pissed because by now 4 days prior,..my friends on other potential race goers had already gottent their tickets and made their plans,..even Cubana........

Needless to say she backed out,...I hung up and that was that. Luckily I foubnd someone
to take so that I was not sitting next to an empty $80 seat for a race..........

HERE IS DATING IN A NUTSHELL.......................as I am typing this over 14 days since,.............guess who just called not 20 seconds ago??????????? Yep "IF" ! Funny how this whole thing works...................$20 says I see her in less than a week, and we start talking on the phone again................I still want the action.............so we wills ee what plays out............I don't see a future of getting involved,......but I see that she didn't forget about me and that I did leave an impression...........enough for her to call.......and just chat,..it was like we never missed a beat in conversation.......we are both conversationalists.....


Okay even more odd............... So I go to the race and I call Cubana the night before,..she says she is sitting on the back stretch and going with people from work....we joked about getting together at the race or hanging out for a little while,.....but I live 2+ hours north of the track and she lives,...about 20 minutes north....I left later than anticipated and she too,....she was parking and riding the shuttle,..I was parking in the rear lots.............with over 200,000 people attending the race, there would easily be 30,000 cars back here,....I pulled into the back lot #10................guess who was just getting out of her truck and was less than 5 spaces away???? Yep Cubana! What are the odds of that??? I am telling you people,...its really weird with her and I,....we were both wearing black tank tops and shorts........too............we took a picture together and had a few beers,..she went to hang with her people and I hung with mine........but we did run back and forth.........we have spoken and email or IM'd every day since..............

Okay new one on the Radar..... Straight from MySpace,..so she may be an alien,..but she is super pretty and very funny.............I emailed her out of the blue yesterday only person I have emailed in 3 months on Myspace,..not sure why,...but she replied last night,......Haven't decided her nickname,........so.......................

That's it for a while.....dating goes on,..................did I mention I hate dating?
DD

MOVED!!!!!!

I am officially moved now. This is my 4th bachelor pad since I left the military in 1993. I have lived with two women; one for two years and one for 6, so these four places were either by myself or I had male roommates. After the last roommate (not a woman that I lived with) I have sworn off having them. As much as they help pay the bills they end up costing nearly as much in damage, lost sleep, annoyance, and everything and anything you can imagine,.....Now MAYBE just maybe this is why women divorce us, I have lived with men and I got along with most of them, but have certainly had drunk late night fistfights with at least one of them. I have a high tolerance since in the military you get stuck with whoever,..you learn courtesy and etiquette pretty quick. But mostly you learn tolerance!
I moved into this apartment as a fast way to get out of a bad situation with my long time girlfriend. We lived together 5 years and dated six,..but I think after year 3 we knew it was not going to be a marriage, at least anytime soon,...we were both very stubborn and hard headed,..but we had tons of fun and made enough money between us to do some very cool things. But there were huge underlying issues, eventually one of us had to go. It was completely monogamous to the end, so it wasn't anything like that,..it was the life things, to me very important,...like how to raise children, and finances, and things of the sort that we just couldn't get agreement enough on to marry. Part of me still misses her,..but quickly I still remember why I left. So I moved into a tiny apartment I could afford and was available,...all tough to find when you want to do it in 30 days or less.
I hate moving as you may know,...even more than dating,....so I stayed in that tiny ass apartment for three years,..but it was a total bachelor pad,.. too small to have much company. Two was a crowd with all of my furniture, if there was four people over, we almost had to rotate from the apartment to the patio, to back around to the front door, pushing the next person out...that sucked, because I like to entertain, football games, holidays, so forth. Now I am in a house more than three times the size of my apartment,.....so there will be some entertaining NOW!~
As I was packing up my bedroom, it dawned on me "What if I had actually notched my bed post while here?" How many notches would I have from this, my first post relationship bachelor pad???

1. First one was a girl who's name I can't remember, met at a bar, had fun at the bar, went to my place, had fun there, she left the next morning, never saw or heard from her again,..fine by me! So we'll call her "Rebound"
2. NC, nuff said she knows who she is. 3+ months.
   
3. Next was GILF, we dated for about 3 months.
4. Then came "Youngin" 2 months.
5. Then was a girl I had a total crush on in high school. She was a cheerleader and was uber hot!! Well she wasn't so hot now and much larger,....but I had had imaginary sex with her so many times while I was horny and 14-18 that even her adult weight and the thought of her kids couldn't stop me. MAN RULE: If she was a cheerleader in high school and you had a crush on her AND you have the chance to tag it later, it is perfectly ok to bag her now regardless of looks!!! You just won't tell anyone now! AND most men would agree! Two total booty calls,..and they were awesome!
6. Next was Thatgirl,...we broke furniture, dishes, my bed, all kinds of things.....6+ months.
7. Then there was Nascar,....she had a real chance to hang around,.....but went whacky on me. We spent most nights together at her house,..but there was a couple at the pad. 4 months.
8. Another no namer.......I think she was my bartender that night. One nighter.
9. Lastly was Cubana........it ain't over until the fat lady sings as the saying goes,...and the fat lady hasn't even shown up apparently.
   

So there it is,..my notches, a couple of relationships, a couple of one nighters, a couple of booty calls. There may even be one more I am forgetting,....I had to go back and insert two that I forgot about as I was writing....but we'll stick with this.....
9 women, 3 years! New pad now, and it looks awesome....ALL of my furniture is here, so no restrictions on being a bachelor and this being a bachelor pad......who will be the first??? Who knows, but you'll know right after I find out.......................
DD

MySpace Aliens

Okay so I have had a MySpace account for about 5 months now. With all the press it gets for perverted old men picking up young girls I am afraid to tell anyone.....However it is serving its purpose well. I have reunited with three old friends, yes women my age! And, I have actually met three women that were worthy of a date, but have been too tied up to go out with two of them and the one I did go out with got me lucky, but then she went back to her ex......which leads me to this....THERE ARE SOME REAL FREAKS OUT THERE AND COMPUTERS MAKE THEM BOLD!!!!
Now am I possibly speaking of myself??? No, I don't need a computer to be a freak,...I just need a computer to tell everyone ;-)
It has actually turned into a research project and there is much that I am learning. Here are just some of the examples of what Dave has learned as an Astronaut in MySpace.

1. People give out WAAAAAY too much information about issues they have.
2. People desperately want to be accepted, so tell you why they are freaky so they can meet like minded freaks.
3. People who were not popular "horde" friends (because you can request to be someone's friend and once they accept you show up their page and they on yours) All of mine are actually friends, people that I talk to at least semi-regularly. But some people just collect them....for about three weeks I accepted any friend requests I got,..then I waited to see if they actually asked about anything a friend would ask,...most never even said hi beyond that,..so we became friends???? What for??? For them to feel popular that's why! Some people have 378 friends or 2,476 friends,....yeah right you weirdo!!!! So I delete them if they never say anything after they ask to be my friend. Its funny and I giggle, when I whisper "bad friend" and hit delete. So Lessons: THERE ARE LOTS OF INSECURE PEOPLE WHO WANT TO COLLECT FRIENDS! YET HAVE NO SKILLS TO MAINTAIN THEM.
4. That strippers who want you to watch their webcam (which you won't know about until you go to their page after they send you a nice email and it has a super hot picture with it)......I check out all the people who on these pages and all of the people they are "Friends" with, then I will go to that persons page to see what they are about friends and I think to myself...MEN ARE SUCKERS!!!! Were you Friends before she started stripping on a webcam??? Funny!!!
5. That there are a ton of lonely people out there, places like this NEED to be around
6. THAT THIS IS WAY TOO DANGEROUS FOR CHILDREN if not heavily supervised.
7. That people will out right lie for their own agenda and I mean more common than you can guess.....
8. That you can actually meet some interesting people and even get dates (which was not my mission, but has happened).
9. That it is super fun to play with HTML (Computer language that builds your page), you can do some really cool stuff.
10. Its vastly different from internet dating sites. But little different than meeting at a bar....go figure.
11. That just as in a bar women will get 400 emails and friend requests, but a man will get substantially less.
12. Men stalk women here too!
13. Women can be total freaks. AND stalk men too....yes! I have been stalked....
14. That women will rarely put "Serious Relationships, Dating" (one of five choice you have) even if that's exaclty what they ARE lookign for.
15. That people cheat massively on their spouses here and can also find swingers here, you can even search just for swingers....
16. That there are only two places, the Airport and Vegas that is better for watching people. If you know how to watch people on MySpace, as I described above, you'd be amazed at what you learn and see and read......GREAT STUFF.....too bad its not live!
    

These are just some of the lessons I have learned in this research and the quest for a permanent fixture.........its really entertaining to do this to say the least. I love being able to observe people patterns and patterns along the species.....its funny to watch people pretend to be what they really wish they were,...but there are alot of awesome people out there too. I have been lucky enough to meet some, so its a win win for me.....I am learning tons about dating and people....
did I mention I hate dating???
Probably did!
More to come
DD

DATE 2 IS HERE

I had been working on the Date #2 post for about three weeks,....so it posted where I satrted it and not at the top. SO CLICK HERE TO READ DATE 2.

A Tolerance Date

A "Tolerance Date" is a trick I learned a long time ago while in the military and it has served me well. I do it with every woman and often it is the make or break of a new relationship. The theory goes like this:
If you are dating someone and have gone out a couple of times and she has not committed the cardinal sins of dating yet,....1) emabrrassing you in front of her friends, your friends, or complete strangers because she turns out to be a total freak,..just add alcohol. (Now it is expected that this will happen sometime,..but not before the "Tolerance Date" 2) If you can stand her company for long periods of time....i.e., no snorting when she laughs,..no obnoxious screechie voice, smells nice and not like hairspray, doesn't like to punch you in the nuts for laughs, she doesn't dress like a total whore....you get the idea. 3) She doesn't already totally hate all of your friends.....
Once they make it through this initial "I can stand her and sex is or will be good",..then it is time for the "Tolerance Date". You can completely have repeat overnights with one another and still never learn the things a good "Tolerance Date" will teach you. So the way I do this is simple. I plan a day trip somewhere...somewhere that requires you to be couped up in a vehicle together for AT LEAST 4 total hours, preferably longer...it can be an over night or not,..but I have learned what you learn on the way to the over night may make you want to drive home immediately after buying her a greyhound ticket....so I stick with day trips. See being locked up together in a vehicle lets you know many things....does she sing out of tune and the wrong words to songs....errr at the top of her lungs??? Does she constantly bitch about how cold/hot it is in the car/truck. Does she fuck with the mirrors and look through your console and glove box? Does she just change your radio station without warning and crank up somehting you despise?
Can she have an indepth conversation and work to keep you occupied while you drive...or just totally ignore you. Is she affectionate,..you know,..rubbing the back of your head,..or holding your free hand,...or hell even give you a "road blow" OOOPS I TYPED THAT OUTLOUD? Does she bitch completely about your driving. Does she have to stop every 10 minutes to pee.....will she pee on the side of the road without question? Does she speak non-stop or not even wait for a reply. Does she help load or unload the truck at the destination...does she point out something she thinks you might like or think is funny on the roadside or wherever? Does she show her tits to every trucker......YOU GET THE IDEA.....see being in a truck for a long trip,..especially coming home when you are tired and have had a long day can be very telling...does she doze off leaving you by yourself to get her home safely.....or does she do her best to keep you company to keep you from dozing off......does she bust out some snacks and either hand you a manageable portion or even feed you while you drive.....personally I think you can learn volumes this way........I mean WAY more than you would on dates. Driving and traffice have a way of bringing out the worst in people and if the trip is fun and enjoyable then maybe you have a found a person to hang with.....if you find yourself hoping for a car accident involving you,..well its best you go your separate ways...TRUST ME.....this is her true nature.....and yours too in the 4 hours of driving you will see both.......

A Sergeant I had in the USAF taught me this and within months I had a chance to learn of its value.

I was a Cop in the Air Force and she "Alyssa" was a nurse. Perfect right? I would go hang out with her at the hospital when i worked graveyard shift because it was quiet, they had the best coffee on base and it was bright inside. Her and I never went ona date,..but spent many nights chatting it up and then maybe a drink at the NCO Club....but our schedules (Days on/off) never really jived with each others,...so making a date was impossible. But finally after months, we both were to get off a decent time on a Friday afternoon and were not due back until late Sunday afternoon. We agreed that we would drive up to Alpine Helen in Georgia,..about a 3.5 hr trip. It is a very pretty town settled in the early 1800's by German immigrants. The city still has all of its Alpine charm and achitecture as well as being nestled in the largest mountains in Georgia.....very pretty place.
It was about 4 in the afternoon when we set out. She met me at my dorm room as I was hauling stuff to take with us for the trip,....we had pretty much agreed it was going to be an overnight trip. She followed me up and down the stairs as I loaded the truck,..never once taking initiative to help carry anything or even offer,...up and down she followed me just babbling about her day...i should have known then,...but I was thinking abut the action,..not the effort involved therein.....oh and the tolerance....We got ont he road and were on no more than ten minutes when she said she was hungry....I needed to fill up the truck so we stopped for food. She expected me to pay for both our dinners and pay for all the gas too,....that was NOT what we agreed to,..but either way she offered no financial assistance. She out ranked me and knew exactly how much I made,..but wasn't offering....either way she was going to pay for half of the room....we never discussed this being a date,...it was a road trip....but OK I can take it....I was only making about $300 every two weeks then and most of that went to insurance and truck payment.....but ok...I was going to have fun....ont he way there,..she went to sleep,..leaving me to drive....then she would wake up and crank up the heat (it was a chilly spell in May for Georgia)...this made me sleepy,..so I rolled down the window,..which woke her up and I had to stop and get her jacket out of her bag since it was too chilly out for her to get out.....ok...I needed to wake up anyway....we get there and stop to get a room,..so we could go out that evening and the next morning.....BOOOOOOKED SOLID...we stopped 5 or 6 places.....i forgot it was Memorial Day weekend....this was a holiday spot....her and I agreed to keep driving the next nice town was about 25 minutes away,..Chatanooga Tennesee,....we headed that direction,..she kept changing the radio station and just in general pissing me off witht he friggin heat,..my feet were burning up....I had to stop and duct tape the floor vent on my side....I should have smacked her and told her to sit there and quit bitching (ooops I typed that outloud didn't I). Chatanooga,...had zero vacancies,..so we proceeded East to Franklin, NC, where my family has a cabin,..it was very late though and I knew my granny was there. I called my dad and asked and he said the half the family was there....great there would be no room there either.....ol girl was asleep,..and I was tired of driving,....what started out as a three hour tour - a three hour tour (as in Gilligan's Island) was now 7 hours into driving. I stopped to fill back up the gas tank,..no financial assistance from her again,..and now the trip was getting to be very expensive....we get back on the road and not five minutes later she has to piss......and only a "CLEAN" bathroom would do.....I was still looking for a place to sleep....I stop at a gas station AGAIN....its now 2:30 a.m. or so......she gets back in and back on t he road we go now heading back home....I had given up,..my quest for the ever illusive hotel room and some action...we got home at sunrise,......I dropped her off at her dorm and left for mine,..there was barely a goodbye.....never spoke with her again..................