Beauty, Grace, and The Ex Pt II

So what was it???? She sounded very somber on the phone.....like she had something to tell me. She sounded sad. I immediately went into concern mode,..but was it concern for her, or what she was going to say. i drummed up all of the courage I have to aske her what was wrong....still she wouldn't give me an answer.....just the typical "nothing, really". Crap!! Men you know what that means.....Nothing=Everything!
I headed to my apartment still trying to get her to tell me what was wrong,..but she would not budge,..simply saying that she needed to talk to me.....(hmmmmm you mean hear my voice or need to tell me something). Finally when I got inside,....she let loose. She said she felt like I left in a hurry, and thought that maybe I left to meet up with the ex....or maybe someone else.... It didn't take long for me to stifle this worry....I simply was sleepy, she lives a good click away, and I didn't want us to go straight into getting it on....I really do like her....
So we continued to talk for the next 2 hours....and she understood that there was nothing to my departure other than that.

Beauty, Grace, and The Ex Pt I

It has been a while since I posted,......work is killing me. Today is Friday and since it has already been a 70 hour week, I thought I might make some time to catch up this morning. I have several posts in the works, but a primer on what's going on now is due.
Well Nascar has been promoted to girlfriend status.....and now she has a name, Paula!!!! Wow, what a girl. Perhaps I have hit the motherlode. She is calm, sweet, beautiful, nice, and not even remotely close to psycho. She is gentle, and can be mean when she gets fired up (not to me of course), but she is a like a mother bear when the cubs are in danger.....she is fearless. Best of all, she gives me a run for my money. She is not afraid to challenge me on something I say, nor is she opposed to teasing me and does so at will. I think I like it.....
So a little catching up and then more about her....
The last real post regarding her was the Rodeo....and it has been great ever since. Last weekend was our first real time together, alone and in private. We were supposed to go to the fair last Friday night,...but she was not feeling well all day at work. Once I got ready and was heading her direction, I called her and she was much worse than earlier. We put it off the date. The best part was that I did not feel she was BSing me. I knew she was going to be home and I knew she was not just backing out. This has been an issue in dating. Women frequently change their minds and I often get stiffed on the first date...STOOD UP I SAY, STOOD UP! This was not the case.
We agreed to get together the next night. I went back home and decided maybe it was a good time for me to relax as well, cook some dinner, hang out in the apartment and just enjoy not having ThatGirl wearing my ass out, or keeping me up all night. This was the first quiet night for me in 6 months.....However, Paula and I ended up talking for almost 3 hours on the phone.....just learning about each other, our histories, our futures and so forth...it was very nice and the conversation was very sincere about all things discussed. Lots of laughs too......
The next night we agreed that we didn't want to do anything and she invited me to her house, about 25 miles away in a sleepy little town of Yulee (known as Po-dunk) by us city boys (hehehehehehehe). I offered to cook her dinner. When I showed up I was amazed at how squared away this woman was. Her house was very nice, she has two very nice cars, two great dogs, and a good bit of land.....She answered the door and took my breath away, she was looking,...well,...ummmm..... HOT! I gave her a light peck on the lips and we proceeded to the Kitchen. We made a couple of drinks and I began to prepare dinner. The whole time she was there chopping and cutting and stirring right with me...it was all very natural.....all very easy going. Finally, I pinned her against the sink and planted one on her....not a sissy kiss,...more like a Fireworks and Rockets Red Glare kiss!!! YEEEHAAAAAA
We turned on some music and just enjoyed talking while dinner was cooking....we ate dinner and laughed all the way through it. We cleaned up together and it was like well oiled machine,...everything was in sinc and like we had done it a million times before together. We never missed a beat in the conversation. I think we both felt incredibly comfortable.....after dishes, we put on some music, Marvin Gaye's Greatest Hits, a little R&B old school, and we eneded up dancing to the entire CD. More smoooooooching and bunches of laughs. It was then that I realized that she completely trusted me, enjoyed my company immensly, and we were very natural together.
About 11:30 we sat on the sofa to watch a little TV, but I was getting very sleepy. By 12:00 I needed to go home,..since I didn't want to stay (even though it was certainly something I could have done). I felt like it was better to just get a few dates and hang outs behind us, so that we both were comfortable moving forward....I left. As soon as I pulled into my apartment complex,....my phone rings.....I have gotten these calls before and feared the worst. Maybe a back out for the next date or something. It was Paula,...when I answered the phone she sounded very somber, as if she needed to tell me something. I asked if she was alright and she said "No". It was then that I feared the rest of the phone call.....I had been waiting for a bombshell, it has happened so many times before.....
Was she married and had not told me (yep that's happened before)
Did she have kids? (Yep that too)
Did we not have the Chemistry I thought we had??? (See Go Carts, Mini-Golf and Body Language post).
What could it be,..I was already expecting the worst.......

Chemical Love and Chocolate

Yeah, I figured that would get your attention......With this blog I not only try to be funny and entertaining,...often times at my own expense,...but I also like to be somewhat informative and thus todays lesson in Love is all about PEA!!! Yesterday, there was some comments posted about to the most recent post, regarding Chemistry and the chemistry of love, and lo and behold we actually have a topic. Thus I thought, what better way to address this then with well ummm chemistry.
Now Ms. Riggins, my Chemistry teacher in highschool, had little more chemistry experience than THC, but she was after all a government school teacher. She couldn't complete an intelligent sentence and frequently mispronounced even the simplest of words and always used double negatives,...so I must say I did not learn this from her. I did however learn a little bit about chemistry, all be it against my better judgement and will at the time.
So, back to PEA and no not those little green things you hid as a kid beneath a mound of mashed potatoes, or fed to the dog,...And no we aren't talking about Ruffies (the Date Rape Drug). We are however talking about Phenethylamine. Click here
Only click the above link if you have a Doctorate degree in Chemistry, otherwise you will nod right off....but I did want to prove that I am not BSing. I have been known to do that,....I mean I am a man and all,..its what we do best.....So back to the point....
This chemical PEA is a naturally occuring hormone. The brain produces it, and it can be found in both plant and animal,..but for our sake its all our brains fault.....What does it do??? And how does it have anything to do with love, you ask!!! WELLLLLLLLLL it technically has everything to do with how you feel. Do I claim to be a Chemist? Errr No,..but I will have plenty of links for you to draw your own conclusion.
Your brain can release many chemicals, such as, dopamine, norepinephrine, endorphins, enkephalin, phenethylamine & serotonin. These are all nature's natural narcotics - chemicals that encourage a sense of comfort, security, and create a mystical experience of oneness, basically euphoria, like when you are in love. Dopamine for instance is released by the brain, when you inhale on a cigarette and nicotine reaches the receptors it affects. The release of Dopamine give you the quick rush and feeling of relaxation that smokers get when they light up it is also a very powerful narcotic and makes it super hard to quit,...an addiction in and of itself,..why am I using this reference??? Well, it stands to reason that the brain uses certain senses it recieves smell, sound, sight, taste, feel to release various chemicals,..thus like and dislike of many things like pain, or all things for that matter.
When you see something you like,..like maybe another person the same is true. You go through an immediate recognization process as your brain says "Hey I know this person,...and damn she is hot". Some will theorize that Testosterone is responsible for this lust,...but I am looking at a bigger picture here. The brain recognizes this person as one of affection a positive feeling even overwhelming. It may recognize the touch of her hand or even spark a memory of being touched by this person...for whatever the reason the brain associates this person, this recognization with a positive feeling...perhaps overly positive....the brain then releases PEA,..which secures the feeling and often times this is LOVE....the chemical immediately spreads into the blood stream....You know that pit you get in your stomach when you see someone you love (not you married people, hehehehe)? Well that feeling is directly related to the release of PEA. The receptors in the stomach nerves are then stimulated....Now the effects are very short lived and the pit goes away,..but can come back as you experience more positive feelings based on the recognition.....that make sense??? Of course it does....basically, once the chemical is released it reinforces that recognition and that positive feeling...and thus the cycle....now there are many other chemicals released from the brain all the time and therer maybe some interaction between them,..but PEA is a stimulant and this is basically (very basically) what it does....Some might arguably call this release infatuation. The brain also releases Oxycontin,..this is love too,..but different love, shall we say "bonding": mom to son, father to daughter, comrade to comrade, husband to wife. The brain releases this pain killer when you experience this bonding type love, still love, but has a completely different effect and caused by a completely different chemical,..but still love none-the-less. Maybe this is why as a kid,..when you scrape your knee, just being with Mom makes it a little better....your doping up on Oxycontin.
Now there is one more thing to be covered here and that is Chocolate... get ready ladies.....guess what chemical is in chocolate???? Yep, PEA / LOVE!!! It is naturally occuring in the cocoa bean and thusly chocolate,....so when you want some chocolate,...you really want some love and some sugar,..both literally and figuratively....It also means that you are absolutely serious when you say "I Love Chocolate!!!", you probably actually do (Well why don't you marry it?)Men take note here.....If you want love and your girl likes chocolate,...give her a double dose,..clean yourself up,go buy some fine chocolates, and let her associate subconsciously you with PEA, LOVE, and Chocolate.....Win, win, and win, but I hope for your sake when you go for the trifecta like that,....you better be well rested,..because it may be hours before you get some.....rest that is......
All right the links,...just to prove I only made half of this up....and Yes, you can call me Dr. Dave from now on....
Click on any and all below, to see if Dr. Dave actually knows the Chemistry of Love!!! The last one was the best one.
WebMD 1
WebMD 2: GREAT ARTICLE
The Pathology of Love
The Chemistry of Love

Interesting turn of events......

Okay first, Paula and I have been speaking via telephone evey night since the rodeo....she is very easy to speak to and vey sweet in nature...I like that....Also know that she will not tolerate any foolishiness (as per her profile). Definitely a southern girl and I definitely have much in common with her....we connect on a great deal of things, the only problem is,....ammmmmmmm I attracted to her????...Well yes in many senses,..but she did not make my heart leap out of my chest......now many of you will say "You're stupid" and I can take that, because yes I am......!!!

Whichleads me here:
Okay tonight,..I heard back from e-Harm and Match Girl click here to read...the girl I met on both.....I sent her a frank email about 5 days ago that was pretty basic..."There is a reason we met via E-harm and Match,..how about a drink???" Dave
That's it!!!! I have wanted to meet this girl for over a year now,...and we are both single...and we have been matched by the computer in India (joke) and by luck of the draw on Match.....
Here is her profile on Match:
I'm looking to make some friends but if things develop into something more that's okay too. I try to treat people the way I would want to be treated but I'm not a push-over either. I have a good career that I enjoy most days:) I enjoy eating out, happy hour, cooking at home, watching movies at home, weekend trips, sightseeing, and other stuff.

I'm looking for someone who wants to meet their bestfriend. Someone who enjoys bumming around the beach, biking and eating out. Well, anything can be fun if you are with the right person. I'd like a guy that can be laid back but ambitious enough to go out do things every once in awhile. someone that has a good attitude, willing to compromise and all the other things that make a guy wonderful:)

I like it,....for reasons too lengthy to explain here,..but when you have been on Match as long as I ,..you read a lot of profiles.....and this one is one of the more unassuming! I have already been matched with her on another site....so should I see if we match in person???
Her response to me was (after my email asking for a drink):
Wellllll, maybe. 555-6040. Let's talk first. Gina


Hmmmmmmmmmmm, at least she gave me her phone number.....I will call her tomorrow and see what happens but I am interested in your input..........all of you,..lurkers and all..

You can see the story a bout her by clicking here!
Yes she has herown post!!! She IS very pretty,too!!!

Now you see my dilemma,....dating is costing me $60-80 per first date and $40-60 after.....three dates a week is $400 bucks a month,..conservatively.......but I must say that prior to meeting Paula,..this girl was someone I REALLY wanted to meet. Personally, I say what do I have to lose!!! But Paula is a great girl,..even though I have only been out with her twice...maybe this is where I miss out.....
So give it up readers and lurkers.....let me know what you think,...I suspect you will say go see at least,..but what the hell do I know,..most of you are married and I'm not......so there's no telling.....


Addtional update I heard from Helga tonight. She is definitely German or foreign at the very least,..I want to meet her because of that....by itself,..but I have other fish to fry...I will keep in touch and see.....with her.


SOOOOOOO,.what I think about Gina???
We were matched on a site that is about matching,...they matched us....and of all the girls I have met have been 100% compatable and I enjoyed all of them and got along well with all of them well...read other posts to see what became.....
Secondly,...Gina hasn't been active on Match for two weeks,..you can see this,...to me it means she was dating someone that didn't work out..I could be rebound,.....I could be anything,..but I don't want to guess about it..... not fair to her or I if I am predisposed to an opinion!! I am attracted to her and have been since Eharm...I like her profile and what she wants in a date....moreover I think I am all that she is looking for (based on profile of two sites)


So what do you think???.....time is now to post...Committee, you will be getting an email to read this.....its a yes or no answer, but do give your responses.....if you havent figured out how to respond or comment,..email me instead and I will post it....

Let me know......and I will tell ya'll what happened on the phone call...... I will be calling her (I can bet I have to leave a message first,..trust me,..I have done this before,..you women are all the same.....in that regard)

As a side note,..I really want to meet this person...so I will probably try.....I have adte with Paula on Friday and that will tap all of the dating budget until middle of the following week.....So when you comment tell me what I ought to ask her to do too!
Dave

The Fighter In Me Cont....

The next day, I decide to go back and hang out for happy hour since it was Friday and to apologize to the owners for the ruckus....When I got there, "D" was alreay there and so was his wife,...again?? Two days in a row?? She must have come back to keep him from getting his bald ass head slapped around...hehehehehehehehehe
Because I have known him for a while, 24 hours ought to be enough to settle it all down, I approached him,...before I could even get my hand out to shake his,..he had already begun apologizing and gave me a buddy hug,..kind of a half ass and manly like us guys do when we are making up over a fight hug,..this is not to be confused with the two men drunk giving each other hugs and noogies while saying "I love you , you little farker" and then proceeding to sing at the top of their lungs "IIIIIIIIIII Got Friiiiieeeeeeeeenddssss in low placessssssss, where the whiskey rounds and the beeer chases my bluuuuuuueeessss awayyyyyy and I'lllll be Okayyyyyyyyy""""
This was a let's not fight type of hug,..kind of like two boxers at the end of a tiring round...okay with me...so I bought him and his wife a round and proceeded to get my Friday on!!!! D and I joked back and forth about the parking lot for a few minutes and then in walked the hotty again.....alright!!!!,...if I hadn't made a big enough ass out of myself the day before,..I was going to get a second chance......she walked straight up to me after saying her hellos to the family and asked me to sit down with them,..she was buying the next round....I obliged this time,..since cool went way out the window the day before....IS THERE A FIRST DATE STORY HERE ANYWHERE????? Oh yeah........
I shall call hotty "Lori"
I sit next to Lori and we begin joking about the day before and just in general...Now I neglected to mention that "Youngin" was also at the bar the day before and again this day. It had been about a month since I tossed her alcoholic, needy, ass out of my apartment. Little did I know, the two of them knew each other.....but it did come up in conversation.....Lori and I talked about all kinds of things. We almost forgot there were other people at the table, but obnoxious "D" made sure we knew he was there....it was ll good. Lori and I share a b-day and that gave us a good chuckle....not that I believe in it,..but two Tauruses by all accounts should stay far far away from each other. I mean how many Bulls do you see on a farm of cows??? There is a reason for this......
After about an hour I ask her if she would like to go somehwere else the next night for a drink....she quickly replied "yes"....we setup for the next night.Dinner and rinks at The Ale House, I would pick her up and call her sometime during the day to confirm....
I called the enxt day and got voice mail.....I called again later in the day and again got voice mail.....Yippppeeee stood up!!!! That's just plain rude.....Finally about 2 hours prior to our meet time she called me back. I could tell she was hesitant and even having second thoughts.....being as experienced as I am at being stood up, I immediately addressed the issues. I told her look, just meet me there at 8:30 that way of you don't want to stay you can leave at will....At this point I usually want to tell them to pay for their own drinks and dinner too,..but I usually will wait until the check comes,..if we have a good time I picked it up,..if it sucks I ask them to anty up,..TO ME IT IS ONLY A DATE IF I PICK YOU UP AND DROP YOU OFF (unless circumstances require seperate transportation, like coming straight from work or something and I think this is fair....).
She agreed and so we met...She looked great, and we easily slipped back into good conversation ont he way inside and at the bar,.....ahhh mistake number one,....instead of waiting on a table like I should have, we took open bar stools. I didn't realize at the time that this would become an issue.....more like a whole subscription of issues......
We got our first couple of drinks down we went outside to smoke a cigarette...I don't normally smoke, but will if my company does.....so we hang out outside and continue laughing and making fun of people...She is receptive and open in posture,..touching me and leaning on me to warm up and so forth (it was alittle chilly this particular night). We go back in and order I womdigious (yeah my word) order of Chicken, chili, cheese, smothered and covered, nachos.....This plate must have weighed roughly 49 lbs., but I'm guessing.....;-))
We finish eating and have a couple of more drinks,..things seem to be going well until Quido walks in.....
Lori and I are sitting at the end of a long rectangular bar, to my left and at 90 degrees to us is a loud redneck who obviously makes more money than he can spend (but will try) and his former stripper girlfriend....they are nice,..but loud. I was actaully on the corner of the bar next to them, they on my left, Lori on my right, next to is one empty stool and then a single person and the other corner....so bascially four stools on the end three occupied. Back to Quido......
Quido (I don't know his name, but this is what he became named shortly after) is a bout mid to late 40's 5'10" 180 Lbs, Puerto Rican with slicked back hair and dark slacks white shoes and resembling John Travolta in Saturday Night fever,..it was Saturday night and all. He was still wearing his Ford Dealership shirt (CAR SALESMAN) and is designated via his name tag,...Used Car Sales Manager......got the picture??? He comes in loud and waiving to people in the bar with that greasy car salesman smile (kind of rembles many politicians acting like they know and like everyone in a romm, when in all actuality all they know is the money they are trying to swindle) , just as you would expect a Quido to do,..except I don' think he actually knew most of who he was waiving too,..I think it was from smelling too much exhaust all day....
He slides up in a greasy sort of way next to Lori. Now Lori is part hispanic and mostly Native American, Straight black hair, down to her butt, dark eyes, moderately dark complected,..beautiful.......high cheek bones, great full face smile......Well Quido introduces himself, interrupting our conversation,..but never introducing himself to me....so I introduced my self to him,..to let him know there was not to be a chance in hell of him worming in. He offered to buy her a drink and I spoke up and said that I would be handling all of her drinks for the night,...she turned back to me and we began talking again.....a few minutes goes by and Quido,..fires his second volley, this time with me staring his ass down, letting him know that my balls were WAY bigger than his and he was pushing his luck.....he was trying to Cockblock me.....She turns to him to see what he wants (she is a very nice person and I was not at all expecting her to tell him to shut-up and fark off),....but I was wishing she would, and since it was our first real meeting who was I to expect it....She turned to him and just stared,..he said "hey you look hispanic" (Playing the race card,..now I wanted to full on Donkey punch him right int he forehead)....She said that she was partly, but mostly Native American,..and turned back to me.....he tapped her again and again she turned and just stared at him,...he commented on her beauty and now it was time for me to step in.....I said "Why yes she is very beautiful and in the middle of a conversation with me,.......if you would please excuse us" Now that was about all the class I could dig up,...but my ire had already been pushed to the limit of restraint.
He apologized profusely and raised his hands (like I am sure his sorry ass has had to do to more than one police officer in his life) and backed away from the bar,..moving on to pester someone else...The redneck next to me asked if I knew the guy and I said "No". The neck said "I think he sold me my truck,..he's a jackoff", but he didn't say it loud enough for Lori to hear....I agreed and proceeded with my conversation with Lori....sure enough here comes Quido again, he bellies up to the bar next to us again and this time makes a comment to me about something stupid and not worth responding to, but being who I am I give him a laugh, a chuckle, and a comment,..simply to show Lori I was a socialble guy and I didn't want to pound his head into the bar rail until he passed out.....now I know what you are thinking.....I thought you didn't fight!!!! I don't but some people do just need to have their asses slapped around,...and you know I am right!!! Fight or not these people make you want to...Quido was one.......
So I get back into conversation with Lori and Quido chimes in again,..this time I slip and say "Dude,..can you see we are talking here???, Can you see that neither of us has interest in anything you might say??? Can you see that I have been trying to be nice, while you pester me, offer to buy her a drink, and so on,..will you please for the love of God, go find someone else to bother......???" This was about as much class and restraint I could dig up....Quido replies with more "I'm sorry's" and just then he noticed redneck,...."HEYYYYYY DIDN"T I SELL YOU A TRUCK???"
Thank you God for not making me kill this asshole, thank you God for letting him be distracted and attracted away from me......and Lori,....Thank you God, see you in Church tomorrow......He and redneck get loud and boisterous. What I failed to realize was that now,....jackoff is directly to MY left,...at least he would be easier to punch now.....Umm I mean ignore.....Well the neck and he chat for a few and then the neck goes back to the stripper.....Quido backs away from the bar into my blind spot......Lori and I are sitting sideways at the bar facing each other enjoying a conversation,..when behind me I feel that "thing"...You know that "thing" when you can tell something is going on behind you even though it makes no sound and you can't see it?....I notice Lori glancing over my shoulder, then immediately back to me. He was trying to flag her down behind my back to get her attention (see I knew something was going on),..I give it a second and as soon as the nano second happen that I felt it again,...I turned quickly towards Quido....we are now about 5 feet apart. I give him the "I'm going to go ahead and kill you, now!!" look. I say as low as I can without being heard by Lori and only by him."If you don't move the fuck away from me now and leave me alone the rest of the night I am going to take your ass outside and beat the everlovin fuck out of you and stuff you in the trunk of your own car,..Got It!" He backs away and says "whoa man, its all good......" and moves to the other side of the bar so fast redneck pipes up...."What the hell did you say to him man,..heheheheheheeh that was funny,....He had a look like a deer in headlights,.....man what did you say??"
I am whispering "Shhhhhhh" to him and winking and turn back around to Lori,..who then asks me what I said.....Nothing "I just asked him to leave us alone and go home to his wife and kids!!" She asked if I tried to start a fight......I said "No, There in no Fighter in me anymore!"(but let his sorry ass comeback).
Maybe ten minutes go by and Quido has moved back into talking range with Redneck, now his back is to me and he is involved,..they are trying to scrape him off too,..but he is at least too busy talking to them to bother us....Lori excuses herself to go to the bathroom,...I stand up to see her off,...Now Quido isn't facing me,..but IS watching her walk to the bathroom.....he turns to the neck and sort of me,...and says "What a great peice of ass man,..man is she beautiful, I would love to tap that ass" He doesn't think I hear him and the comment happens after she has been gone a minute or two....I was really torn between punching him in the mouth and totally showing my ass....but I din't! After the events of the day before I don't want to have Lori think I have anger issues.....The neck didn't hear what Quido said,..because his stripper had said something to him.
Quido was back standing near me when he said this....I turned to him and told him "Watch your fucking mouth, she has more class than you have ever seen and now its time for you to leave....do it now, or I am going to punch you,..you have 10 seconds to get out of the door muther fucker go! Go now!....do it!" Neck and stripper were back involved in their conversation and did not hear his comment fully or mine,....just as Lori walks out,..he heads out the door,..I pretend like I am not watching him leave quickly......Lori sits down and we order one more drink......
Just then Neck sees the door swing wide and Quido's elbows and asshole smoking out the door.....I turn to Lori and Neck Chimes in loudly......"Wooooooo Hoooooo what did you say to him man,..he took off like his ass was on fire.....Woooo boy,....you must have told him off, man I ain't never seen him move that fast even when I was buying my truck in cash"
I just chuckled and turned back to Lori,..who again asked if I ran him off,...I tried to say "No" and leave it at that,..but Neck chimed in again........"Man Dude, Wha'd you say.....HEHEHEHEHEHEHE man he was hauling ass" Just then Lori pipes up and say "Yeah,...what did you say??" So I told both of them,..that he made a comment about her virtue and what he'd like to do and I asked him to leave quickly"" Neck says " I thought I heard him say that,..but man what did you say,..that boy was skeered!!!"
Lori was not impressed that I was defending her honor at all,..the next thing out of her mouth was "I am ready to go"......I paid up and we headed to the door....I walked her to her car and apologized and told her exactly what he said......
Lori got into her car and says "Well we have known each other three days, on the first day you tried to beat up my step-dad,...then on our first date,..you try to get into a fight at a bar,..I don't think this will work....but thanks for dinner....." I tried to explain,..but there was no use........I even called her the next day,..that was when she told me that she and Youngin had also talked about it and Youngin said I was an asshole. Lori then at least gave very little credit toYoungins statement saying that I was far from an asshole to her (Lori), but the fighting thing would be an issue,....then she said "get some anger management classes or something and maybe we can talk again,..but for now,....I am not interested!"
Geeeeees can't a brother get a break?????
I kept her number in my phone......just in case I ran into her again or wanted to call her months down the road and ask her out for a drink....ThatGirl called her number on the night she called everyone else in my phonebook and asked how she knew me and so forth and was basically being a bitch.......I just deleted the phone number after that,...there was no need even calling to apologize,....she thinks I have anger issues and now knows that I have an angry psycho ex......lucky me!!! Ever onward!!!!! Did I mention dating Sux???? There is apparently still a fighter in me.....!
Dave

First Date Nightmares Pt II:The Fighter in Me

Now, my days of bar brawls are long long over,....two teeth and several scars OVER...Now I am not opposed to showing my ass once in a while,..fire water will do that to you sometimes. It has happened since that first cave man ate a fermented fruit and ruined the hunting party by scaring off the Tricerotops by hooping and hollering and got knocked out by the Chief caveman (yeah I made all of that up),..but usually its just posturing and nothing comes of it....This is also one of the reason I stick with a few select places to hang out....I know everyone and usually the owner or the manager....The fastest way to end a fight is to get the other guy thrown out..HEHEHEHE!
So, as I have said previously I have one bar that I prefer over all the rest. I know the owners and its a BAR bar,..bar flies and daily regulars. One of the regulars is a short older guy,..straight from Brooklyn or some other Yankee place....Forgeddaboutit!!! He's pretty funny and I've known him for a few years. Not BBQing at his house "know",..but definitely see him weekly or more. He always mentioned his beautiful wife and has made a comment to me several times about keeping his step daughter away from me....(jokingly I suspect,...but I digress). Most of us tease him about his wife being a fantasy, since none of us have ever seen her....but his buddy and a very good friend of mine has attested to the fact,..but teasing him is still fun...He's about 5'6" and weighs all of about 150 lbs. He is always wearing a redneck hat (I guess trying to fit in) and has hair to his shoulders.
Well one evening I walk into the bar and grab my typical stool next to Big Dale...I start on my second beer and first shot with Big Dale when in walks "D" ( the fella I described above). He sits at a table. We exchange "Hi's" and a couple of insults and so forth. I spin back around to face the bar and proceed to cut up with Big Dale. "D's" table is right directly behind my stool....its a Thursday night (why is this important?? Well you'll have to keep reading). A few minutes later in walks a very attarctive womand and a even more attractive younger lady. They go over and sit with D. Well spank me and call me Francis,..he does have a wife who is pretty and his step-daughter (apparently) is hotter than a rock at high noon in Texas....I mean SMOKIN~!
They are all sitting right behind me and of course being Dave I introduce myself. D is getting pretty lit up and has been drinking for most of the day, but is still in control of his faculties.....thus far....I joke around with them and him inparticular. Finally, hotty walks up to the bar to order a round of drinks and parks it beside me to order...WE joke lightly and I ask her name again....I had temporarily gone deaf during the introductions,...more like I was planning my strategy....
We chat for a minute and she invites me to sit down,..but I was halfway into a conversation with Big Dale, so I declined,..besides it made me look cool. Well a few more beers go down and another shot courtesy of Big Dale trying to make his drinking problem mine......
During this time, "D" has proceeded to get totally annihilated and was getting louder by the second...next thing I know I'm getting insults and hot slag tossed in my direction....usually this wouldn't bother me from him,..but he was more than showing his ass....I toss a couple back in his direction....now not to be too arrogant,..but once I start I will usually end the insults thing pretty quickly with a real stinger or two that leaves everyones mouth agape....(gees,.I can't believe he just said that...Bahahahahahahabwbhahahahahahahahahahah "D" he just called you a.....Man that was funny!!!..... sort of ending) This is usually where I have to get someone thrown out, or make it to the door in a hurry....
I finished my beer and was standing up to leave,..when "D" decided to throw one more good one my direction slurred words and all.....I walked over and said "Hey man, whats up,..why are you busting my chops so hard today"?? Then he proceeded with more....Well he was wearing a Nascar Jeff Gordon hat with flames on it......I smacked the bill of his hat and said "Hat's on fire! Oh its out!!!" and off it comes. This got a good laugh from everyone except his wife and step-daughter. Why you ask?? Well it revealed a a shiny bald head concealed by long hair in the back and the hat....obviously his wife and step-daughter knew what no one else did......CHROME DOME!!!! Man was he pissed,.....I had never, nor did anyone else see him without a hat before....Ummm Game Over....Now whats worse than a short guy with Napolean complex??? A short, drunk, bald guy with Napolean complex!!
His step-daughter and wife are busy burying their faces in their hands and I hear the whistle from The Good, The Bad, And the Ugly (whistle) WAAA WAAA WAAAAAAA (whistle) WA WAA WAAAAAAAAAAAA......Up he comes (umm about to my chest) and there goes his mouth,....you MutherFarker,...blah blah blah.....well I had enough too and it looked like it was getting ready to get nasty.....I try to walk off, he grabs my arm....Game On!!!! I tell him to take it out side if he wants a peice of me.....and out the door the entire bar goes.....Our mutual buddy is telling him to quit being a dick and his wife is in my face begging me not to kill him.....we were both bowed up.....After a minute or two...I tell him to fark off and walk to my truck and he is running his mouth the whole time....Our mutual freind is now about to be in a fight with him....

Too be continued!!!!

Communication Breakdown

Saturday night I went to the watering hole to get a drink and watch the Florida vs. Vanderbilt game. It started as a quiet evening, but quickly I began to stress out on the game and the bar began to fill up with regulars and some newbies. I intended to hang out for the game,...call NASCAR once during the game, and come home when my buzz got good enough or my wallet empty enough....turned out to be around 1:00 when the two indicators collided.
There was a couple of reasons I didn't call Nascar earlier in the evening. One was that she busy with a paper for school (one that she has now asked me to read and critique all 84 pages of) and two because ThatGirl taught me that I absolutely did not want someone that gets totally pissed off if we aren't in contact every three hours...(which is usually what ThatGirl did).
I thought that maybe I should test the waters with Nascar a little bit and just see. I called her about 8:30 p.m. and got her voice mail. I told her I was at a bar, watching the game, with friends,..I named two girls (one was a committee member who ultimately did not show and the other was a bartender I knew would be there). I am not playing games here, I simply want to find out some things about Nascar's character. I left her a nice message and told her again I had fun on Friday and that I hope her paper was going well. About 10:30 she left me a message,...but we were at 14 seconds to go in a tie ballgame and there was no way I was answering the phone....It could have been the President and he would have gotten my voice mail (umm not that the President would call me or anything,..but maybe he would have wanted to tell me that my blog was a national treasure or something). I was a bit concerned checking the message a couple of hours later, what if she failed the test.....another one down.....
What I got was a sweet message, no insecurities, no questions on who was who or when I would be home, nada, zilch. She said that I could have watched the game with her, but she probably wouldn't have gotten her paper done if I had.....
Sunday, one of Da Boys called to offer me a feee ticket to the Jaguars game. It was like 10:45 in the morning,...I hadn't actually spoken with Nascar,..since Saturday morning around 11:30. I left for the Game with "T" and was gonna give Nascar a call prior to going into the Stadium....About a half hour before that she called. Again very sweet, great demeanor, and no issues,...didn't even ask who all I was going to the game with. We had general chit-chat and talked about the paper she is doing,...she wanted some help researching something she was having problems finding info on (this was Saturday morning when she mentioned it first),..so I made a list of links (Saturday) to exactly what she was looking for and sent it to her before I went out Saturday night..She was commenting on the links (during Sunday's phone call)and how much they helped her and that she needed me to find some others as well....I told her I would when I got home...She wished me a good time and said she was looking forward to seeing me soon.....
Communication breakdown??? No not at all.....so far so good.....she passed the Communication Breakdown test with flying colors....ThatGirl would have rang my phone off the hook, gone on two dates, not spoken to me for a week, and just generaally been a bitch.....Ahhhhhh this is a nice refreshing change....now she will get regular calls.....
This morning she sent me her paper and I am in the process of reading it....damn writing a paper for a Master's degree is hard.....I can barely understand some of it,..but I ain't going to tell her that!!! I thought the Matrix was a movie,..not the internal external forces in chart/graph form affecting the strategy and marketability of a company, particularly a fortune 500 company relative to the market and its own competitors.....did that make sense???? Yeah well it didn't to me either,....but it was my first non-movie Matrix....I feel smarter already!!!

A couple of updates.....
I dropped Po-Po a line Saturday afternoon,...just kind of teasing her as to why I hadn't heard from her....no comment, no email, no nothing.... I guess I HAVE been relegated to the recycle bin....either that or I am under investigation...YIKES!
Helga: Not her real name,..but I think she is german,..so I will call her Helga until I meet her and find a more suitable name.....I emailed Helga, about a month ago and we went back and forth two times.....I noticed a few things that make me believe she is a German National or something of the like....one is bad spelling,...not atrocious (and hell anyone reading this knows I refuse to use spell check and spell like a fifth grader), but in a weird,..almost phonetic in spelling,..but she is very educated adn fluent in several at least two languages....plus I am seeing things in her comments that are shall we say losely translated,..like verb in the wrong spot,..or an incorrect adjective.....I asked her one time if she had an accent and she stopped emailing me.....MAYBE she is a Russian spy and the Po-Po is involved....? HMMMMM anway I thought this girl was cute,...Friday night when I got home from the Rodeo with Nascar, there was an email from Helga....the German....Sure enough she is a singer and sings in at least three languages and spends time in Germany....I emailed her back and have not gotten a return,..but who knows.....I will keep in contact until and if Nascar and I hit a level that makes her exclusive....I have made the mistake too many times in not leaving my options open,..so I will this time,...its all casual until I get goo and ready.....
Dave

Lurkers!!!!

Quit Lurking,..start commenting......I want to laugh too!!! And the comments are whats funny to me....Thanks AK!! Dating I hardly find funny!!!! I think I need to take out a mortgage,..I have another date this week!!! Any body want to buy some old Sneakers and maybe a car stereo....
Dave

NASCAR and Bullriding

Okay,..so tonight was technically the second date,....but still to me it was the first. Nascar and I went to the Rodeo.....as expected her nephew and neice went with us....that's good,..it kept the conversation light and the smooching to a minimum. As I stated here women like to see if a man can handle kids....Match allows you to see if they want them and them to see if you do. So I figure tonight was a little test. See how Dave handles and 8 year old boy (man I wish I was 8 again......you get to annoy people, get to be cute and get away with it,...and girls always think you're cute), and a 17 year old girl....attitude and all....
I can say that I passed with flying colors,..except for pissing off the 17 year old about me getting her "crushes" ticket to the rodeo,...umm since she caught him at the fair with another girl (man I don't miss those days,...17 sucked). Anyway,..back to Nascar....I met them in a parking lot north of town and we ride together from there. Now this is the second time I saw her and as soon as I stopped my truck,..she got out and hugged me,....big points....she was just as pretty as the night before....and I don't think you can call it cleavage,...I think its more like Cleavland.....WOW,...I'm a leg/butt man,..but gees,..I can be pursuaded....she looked great.
We went to the rodeo and she and I were doing fine....a couple of quick kisses and lots of touching and leaning on each other....conversation came easily and again the laughter did too.....She is very pretty, blonde hair, blue eyes, full lips,..did I mention Cleavland??? She has a very nice disposition.....she is very quick witted and just generally funny......We talked, I played with the 8 year old,..we talked some more,...8 year old won't leave me alone now,....we talked even more,..now the 8 year old is on my back......and Nascar and I just kept talking,...the 8 year old kept trying to prevent it......sorry kid.....I can keep you busy,.....impress her with my kid skills, and give a noogie all at the same time.....I have little brothers and nephews......
Over all a good time was had,....she wanted me to drive us back to my truck, which was fine....her hand was on my leg the whole way,...and we were holding hands with the other.....I do like her. Good education,...good values.....good looks,...lots of laughs and goofing off.....to me that's very important....
We kissed one good time at the rodeo,..while the kid was occupied with his sister (thankfully for a moment) and ol girl slipped me the tongue.......but the kid quickly ended that,.....you know what? KIDS ARE THE ABSOLUTE BEST BIRTH CONTROL!!!!
But there were a few more quick kisses here and there.....Okay maybe dating doesn't suck so bad......errrrr okay it does,..but you do the best with what you have.....smooching helps.....
We get back to my truck and I strategically park her Jeep, on th opposite side of my door,..hoping for the first GOOD kiss. It worked. WOW great kisser,..thats important........ThatGirl who?.........We kissed deep and long for a few minutes and it was very nice...I do enjoy her company,...ummm so far.....I do get easily annoyed,..but Nascar is very laid back, very educated,..and very well,....country....As I said she appears to be a great woman...now does that mean marrying material??? Well I obviously can't answer that,...but she definitely gets to the next stage,.....meeting friends and seeing how she reacts to the knuckleheads I hang out with,..not just Da Boys (Shrimp boy "T" especially), but how she responds to the openess and very off the wall conversation of Committee member "K' and family,...My sister and committee member "Kris". She passes those test and who knows,....but right now I enjoy her company. We talked about everything from careers to wants to family (future and present) and even a little sex.....She asked me some odd questions,..like what I am into,....I think she wanted to know more that I wasn't into things that she didn't like. But,.....she was very interested in what I do like, obviously the situation kept us from getting into detail,..but as a whole we are on the same page......Hell I have to keep some things private, right???
Okay, well now I am home,..Ican still smell her perfume on my hands and shirt....she smelled great,....and thats one of the very cool things about dating,..you get to go home and you can smell their perfume on you and it brings back memories of that night and them.....Smell is the strongest sense tied to memory period and if you enjoy reliving the evening,..its nice to be able to smell both the pheromones and perfume of a new date.....I WILL BE CALLING HER TOMORROW!!!
I did already send her an email tonight telling her that I had a great time and that I could still smell her perfume......Women like to know that they made a good choice in perfume as much as they like to think you are still thinking about them.....its not a game, its just women....I feel it and smell it and she would like to hear it.....so that's that....
Overall I give Date #2 with Nascar a 9 of 10.
Things I like about Nascar:

1. We like the same things thus far,..sports to food.
2. She is very laid back,...doesn't get worked up easy.
3. Great Kisser
4. Smells great
5. Southern Girl, light accent, educated,..but not conversationally uptight,...she'll use a double negative with the best of them.
6. Affectionate,....a toucher....I like that, to me it's part of pair bonding and makes you both unavailable to everyone else
7. Funny
8. Attractive
9. Sexy
10. Doesn't miss much as far as obscure jokes and references...
11. We are 33 days apart in b-day and year.
12. Doesn't drink much (she had 3 in 6 hours, I had oh,...maybe 6) and she doesn't care if I do.
    

Things I don't like

1. A little thick in the middle,..but hey aren't we all at 35
2. Lives 20 miles away (this has a good side too,..limiting drive-bys and Thatgirl type psychosis)

Great things??? Well I got home by midnight,....I was sober,...and could still smell her on me,...and I can't get her off my mind, thus the post tonight.
more tommorrow......
Dave

The Fed, The IRS, and Nascar......

Okay so yesterday PO-PO and I began emailing on a more serious level as far as getting to know one another. She told me a little more about what she does,..but refrained from details until we actually speak.....I agreed. She had to work last night and so said she would try to call me yesterday or today........We emailed a few times back and forth. She has a great sense of humor and the emails were entertaining....She stated that she had to leave for work at 5:00,..I figured if I was going to get a call yesterday that I would get it sometime thereafter since she had to drive from Orange Park to the Beach (roughly 20 miles of bumper to bumper, friggin finger flying, swear word tossing, rubbing is racing, traffic).
So last night I am driving home from work and I cross the bridge (Matthews) and as soon as I get to the top (about 5:20pm),...my cell rings.....The bridge is really crappy for trying to use the cell phone since you and the other person sound something similar to R2D2 on crack......The person on the other end says:
Caller: Is this David L......?
Me: Yes!
C: This is the agent (R2D2 speak) with the IRS....
Okay, first I own a business so I fear this call,.......always,...but I also met a FED who I did not know what she did, so I assumed it was her....
Me: Oh it's the armed accountant.....calling to take my taxes at gunpoint are you?? (this was reference to a joke in an email between Po-Po and I)
Caller: Laughing
Me: Laughing and sighing at the same time....
Caller: Well you know thats the only way to work for the IRS is carrying a gun...
Me: By the way did I mention I own a Donut Shop? I know cops like donuts,..can I bribe you with a free month of donuts for a pass on the audit???
Caller and Me: Laughing!
I then make a reference to a comment from the earlier mail....and I get:
Caller: Silence,....Ummm, Huh?
Me: Well you said ealier that you used to do Medical Insurance Fraud....?,Right?
Caller: Huh? What are you talking about....?

I couldn't drive towards my post work happy hour beer fast enough...crap who was I talking too....???
Caller: Who do you think this is???
Me: Ummmmmm well if I answer that and I am wrong,...then I make a fool out of myself,..if I answer that and I am right I have to answer who I first thought it was.....Lose, lose.....for me.....so I have NO IDEA!!!!
Caller: Well guess
Dammit I hate when people say that,..but it was a woman after all and I was pretty sure she wasn't calling to audit me....
Me: Well if you don't know what I am talking about then the only person I can think of would be "NASCAR"
Caller: Yeah, Hi how are you???
Me: Well, I'm good I just got a little confused there.....I tried to call you last night after you emailed me,..and you also didn't answer my email so I never expected YOU to call......
Nascar: Yeah, well I am a sucker for a cute face.....
Me: HEHEHEHEHE, yeah!
Nascar: So what are you doing,....?
Me: Stopping by for a customary sacrificing of the happy hour beer,...two must be killed to please the after work powers that be.....you??
Nascar: I am going to class....I have school two nights a week....
Me: Cool,...School makes you smart, I hear.....but that may just be a rumor...
Nascar: Well I don't feel much smarter,....but I do feel poorer....
Me: Well what side of town do you live on?
Nascar: I kind of lied about where I live......on my profile...
Me: Well thats a great way to start a good relationship...lie from the beginning,...I like it.....
Nascar: *Laugh* I linve in Nassau County (YULEE, GOOD LUCK FINDING THAT ON YOUR MAP)
Me: Singing ***They got some crazy lil women there and Ima gonna get me one........****
Nascar: Laughing,......Where do you live???
Me: Arlington,.....Right next to JU(the projects, not really,..but you could ride the roaches around,..... giddy-up boy!!!)
Nascar: Really, I am at JU right now,..that's where I go to school.....
So from there I manage to talk her into meeting me after class,...she got out at 9.
I proceeded to not only sacrafice the aforementioned beers,..but Jack Daniels needed to be shot twice too,..and thus was.....I was a wreck....gees....I have had more luck in dating in the last 2 weeks than I have in the last 3 years,.......
I asked her to meet me at another bar (that would be having a band last night, when she got out of class).
About 9:30 (JU is literally 600 yards from the bar) she still hadn't called....I was already thinking I took a shower and put on a new shirt and I am getting stood-up!!!! Oh this just won't do, I tell ya,..just won't doooooooo.
I left her a message,..figuring it was a 40 minute drive back to Yulee,...It would leave me plenty of time to annoy the hell out of her with a ringing phone....
She called me back about 5 minutes later.....she was on her way....
NOW THE MOMENT OF TRUTH........
When you meet someone online and only get a 2"X2" picture (she has three), its tough to tell if it was taken in 1986 or last week. Its even tougher to make out some of the basics,...like is that a mole on her forehead??? and is there a tooth missing in that one???
So the first meeting is always stressful.....I proceeded to slay two more beers and decided at that point....I was as loose as I was going to get,..without the potential to dance naked on the bar......
In walks Nascar.....Holy cow......I knew her the second she walked in......(start porn track playing in background,...heavy bass and cha-cha music) She looked great.....suddenly my mouth detached itself from my brain and began to carry on a conversation that I was not part of,....apparently my body became the designated driver for a mouth with little control.....
I think I was actually shy for a minute......I also had an out of body experience too,..but I digress...
We found a table in the corner and began to talk.....I forcefully re-attached my mouth to the proper nuerons...and off we went into conversation.....it came easily and so did the laughs.....I asked her if she was hungry....we ordered dinner.....for the next 2 1/2 hours we laughed and talked,...compared CCW permits (Yep I love a girl with a gun,..keeps me honest) and we shared dating nightmares.....from Match....
At the end of the night I gave her a hug,..but I actually wanted to jump her bones on the spot.....Battle stations every one!!!,.....but nope,..... just a hug,..I think she actually wanted a kiss, she leaned in and everything.....but I ended up looking cool, by sloughing it off.
I asked her before we parted what she had going on for the weekend....and she said she was taking her nephew and neice to the Rodeo here in town at the Equestrian Center (REDNECK WITH GUN AND GOOD LOOKING WORKING ON HER MASTER"S DEGREE AND HAS A FULL TIME JOB AND HAS NO KIDS<>>>I THINK I LOVE HER). She said she had and extra ticket if I was interested. I havevn't been to a Rodeo since my Texas days,..but they were always fun and watching a dude get beat to crap by a horse or a steak that is still alive(WHo's tender now tough gu,...huh? WWHo's tender now!!!) is actually a lot of fun.....plus its even more fun to people watch.....So thats the plan tonight. I am meeting her at 6 and off we go,..to be happy rednecks together.....

Still have not heard from Po-Po,...but I don't suspect I am out of the running yet,..she has always taken a long time to get back to me......
Check back tomorrow for Nascar date #2....
Dave

Po-Po Update

Well Po-Po and I emailed back and forth this afternoon.....is she a cop??? Umm no,..she is a FED. I have no idea what,...FBI, DEA, ATF, SS....I don't know yet,..but should find out in the next day or so....I did ask to take it to the next level....phone numbers....she hasn't answered yet..

As an added bonus, today I received an email from someone commenting on this blog. She didn't post,..but did email me....We seemed to have struck a freindship in talking about realtionships through 6 or so emails today......I am sure more tomorrow..and I hope she sticks around.....I will refer to her as "C". She is very nice and I enjoyed our conversations today.....

No email back from News Chicky,..but I expect I will in the next couple of weeks...

One of the girls ThatGirl emailed on Match to prevent me from being able to email with honesty emailed me tonight,..noticing I was back on Match. See ThatGirl,...got pissed when I was on Match after a break-up (she went back on first, but didn't want me to have any success, so she emailed 10 or so gilrs telling them to stay away from me). Well this girl is the one that told me....she even sent me a copy of the email....I had just emailed her two days after she received it...from ThatGirl. I tried to explain,..but women are women and tend to believe each other before the men that they may be interested in.....needless to say I was interested in I'll call her "Nascar", but she told me about the email from ThatGirl then said its was obvious that ThatGirl cared deeply for me (it was in the email) and that she also apparently had a jealous bone......anyway she promptly ended contact with me after that exchange....Well tonight she emailed me again and jokingly said...."Well he's single again,......I'll tell all the girls" Funny, but not really....I emailed her back,..we'll see what her response is. I tried to explain ThatGirl's actions,..but that takes half a blog to do,..so I said what I said and we will see....I did like Nascar and I made it to the phone number stage the night before she made the connection between me and ThatGirl and asked me if I knew someone named.......yep ThatGirl....

Updated--New Committee Member

Update in red at the bottom of the post.. Click Here

First Date Nightmares Pt I.

I have been meaning to fully post the nightmares of first dates.....The worst of these tie into the stories contained here in the blog,...and in an effort to speed up posting I have kept details out of the posts.....but now is a good time to tell how some of the stories went....
1) ThatGirl: Well the first night I met that girl WAS not out first date,..simply a meeting...you can find that in the posts regarding her,.....10 days after we met, we intended to go out to dinner and hang out on a Thursday night.....on the Wednesday before, I developed PINK EYE!!!! WTF? I have never had pink eye before.....gees....I tried everything to get it to go away,..but the eye boogers kept coming....I pushed out date off to Friday. She was cool with it...We had been speaking via phone four hours a night since the day we met on my B-day at my bar....
I picked her up at her house and we headed south of town for dinner...to a BBQ place we both wanted to try.....We sat at the bar waiting for a table to open up for almost an hour...the bar was sticky (which I hate and she commented the same so we laughed about it). Finally we were seated and there was no silver ware, and no drink order...it was like we were seated outback or something. After 20 minutes I flagged a waitress who promptly told me I was not her table.....Now I am nice,..but I don't give a damn who's table I am,...send someone or do it yourself.....its your job and your company,..make it happen....finally 20 more minute,.... we get silverware and still no drinks.....I go to the bar and order drinks for us and complain,..they were on the house...fine! ThatGirl and I were getting along fine and we made do.
after 45 minute of sitting at the table before we saw someone again,..we ordered....food showed up,..it was not so good.....and we went to pay,..again we had to flag someone down to pay and clear the table....we had now been at dinner for 3 hours....from the time we walked in until the time we left....the check showed we waited for them to come take it and settle up.....10 minutes later we walked up to the front and asked for the manager.....a pimpley kid about 22 asks if everything was alright......I laid into him.......I gave him a gift certicate that I had and said just ring us up so we can leave.....he comped the meal and it was free.....okay fine,..we left....ThatGirl and I decided to go get a drink at a place on the river....when we showed up,.... it never occurred that tonight was prom night.....holy crap the place was loaded with tuxedos and prom dresses that would end up on the floor in a ball in a cheap motel room by 12:00 a.m.,..We went across the river to a not so hot night spot.....after going to three or four bars,..we never got a drink,...too busy,..too empty,..too whatever....by now its 12:00 so we head back to the first bar/rest on the river hoping prom revelers were doing their deeds,..sure enough it was empty,..we finally ordered our drinks and waited watching the band...when they show up,..I look over at ThatGirl to say something and she is white as a ghost......and cold sweating.....OH BOY great! I bet I am making a great impression....I ask if she is alright and she says "NO" I need to go home.....I drank my drink and hers too, then threw a $10 on the table and left...with her ....We get to the car and I open her door,..she was looking very ill.....I get her halfway home and she says "STOP THE TRUCK!!!" I swing into a parking lot and she proceeds to blow chunks,.....and in between chunks in the bushes outside the truck she is telling me if I get out of the truck I am a dead man....I stay in the truck....I grab an old shirt and put it on her seat with a tin of Altoids breath mints....knowing what its like to blow chunks I felt maybe one or both would do her good......I get her home and she takes off from the truck as soon as we pull up,...leaving a trail of smoke and her purse....I grab her purse and take it up to her porch and wait.....she comes back out and says.....I AM SOOO SORRY!!! What could I say I felt 10X worse than her.....Geees I made her sick for God's sake!!!
Suddenly she takes off again.....back to the bathroom.....a few minutes later she appears and says "I hate to ask you this,..but...." Now I am thinking she is getting ready to tell me to leave or that we can't see each other or something....but no,.....she says I need you to drive me to get toilet paper......apparently she was having an all out evacuation.....I obliged gladly, I even went in and bought her some water, a ginger ale, and a Gatorade,....some tums and some Pepto Bismol. I tried to cover everything....we get back to her house and I no sooner stop then she is off again up to the house....I grab everything,..and wait on the porch...20 minutes later she emerges......feeling better, thankful, sorry, and embarrassed. I give her a hug, she kisses me on the cheek and begs to make it up to me.....Wha? Ok.....so there was that first date...It should have been indicative to me as to what was to come.....drama, drama, with a side of drama.....but still fun none-the-less.....

It's The Po-lice

So for the last few days I have been emailing back and forth with a Match from Match.com. She is very pretty and my profile click here. to review, is what got her attention. Her first email to me had little to do with us getting to know one another and more to do with how funny it was.....to me thats a great place to start.So here is the run down....She is 36, very attractive (for 3- 2" x 2" pictures) If you squint she either looks like a model or a Richard Simmons (HEHEHEH just teasing). She IS very attractive. I have been trying to get her to email me at my regular email,...since the ThatGirl incident last weekend. The reason is simple: if,....ThatGirl and I get it going again (which is against every fiber of sanity I have), then I wanted to still keep my options open, since its obvious she is keeping hers open.....Finally today, I get an email from her. I have asked her a few times what her occupation is,...but she never fully answered. She has a Master's Degree from FSU (I seem to get along better with the educated, than the uneducated,..reference higher education. Women with Master's degrees are usually very open, understand the world and tend to not react or act as emotional. They tend to be more rational and logical, than women who have not had those experiences....just an observation from dating many of both). She is also apparently in Law Enforcement. HANDS IN THE AIR>>>>>>>
Now that in and of itself is no biggie. I dated a Homicide Detective for about 5 months right after I moved out from living with News Chicky. I also have a background in Law Enforcement. Sometimes, I wish I had pursued the career,..but at the same time....I am grateful that more than likely someone won't shoot at me while working....Thats a pretty nice feeling to have. Even though I do carry a gun every day as it is.....
I shall call her Po-Po. Po-Po seems to have a good background based on our talks,...she seems to be funny and pretty quick on the draw (HEHEHEHEHE pardon the pun). She comes across very direct. .NOW, that doesn't mean its all good.....We may have a conflict of interest or two.....so it depends on what her job is in Law Enforcement, which as I said is vague....she could be a beat cop, corrections, dispatcher, crime unit, forensics, detective.....who knows....I guess I will soon enough. Also I have been known to drink and drive and occasionally take part in activities she might frown on (and I'll leave it at that), but those things are a long way off in the current discussions. My background is clean,..so I am not worried about being checked up on,....but the thought of a nasty break-up with a cop,...gives me the willies. Hell I broke up with one's sister and within 2 days he pulled me over for DUI (I was 21 at the time). Being that I was a Cop at the time that put a cramp in my plans and rank,...but I found some dirt on him and he is no longer employed anywhere in the State of Georgia, turn around is fair play......but I digress. The good thing about dating a cop is that,..you almost always have a ride home from a bar, and usually in the front seat of the patrol car. She will be less likely to lie and bs you,....it does become nature to some to do the right thing always. And they tend to be compassionate and empathetic to those around them....They also tend to spend a lot of time with men, work out in the gym, and can put your ass on the ground with a couple of pressure points and a hip toss.....So dating one has its ups and downs,...errrr literally.....oh yeah and lets not forget the fear of turning them full on lesbian (I have yet to accomplish this in my life, but I did convert one back to our team once long ago). the bright side to this, is that she is in another County, so my guess is that she either works for that county or the city contained therein.
Anyway,..this is developing and as I find out more about her I will post it here. So keep an eye open for Po-Po posts (sounds like I am stuttering, huh?).
Dave

Haz-Mat and Electronics.......

Another Funny Email

MATHEMATICS OF MATING

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy


OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime


SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.



GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.


HAPPINESS REASONING

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot,
and not try to understand her at all.



LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men do,
but married men are a lot more willing to die.



LAW OF CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.



ARGUMENT THEOREM

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.


HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next."
They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

Mr. Match.Com Dating Guy

Okay here is a portion of my profile on Match....they say the intro should be funny and grabbing...well i think I accomplished both. I have gotten comments on it already from girls,..who are not interested in dating me,..but thought it was funny....



Have you ever heard the BudLight commercials “Real Men of Genius”? Well here is my version (backup singers in parethesis and by the way it’s the singer from Survivor….remember “Eye of the Tiger" from Rocky XXIII???, Yeah? Well that’s the guy…..):
Budlight presents: Real Men of Genius! WE salute you Mr. Match.com Dating Guy (Mr. Match.commmmmm Dating Guuuuuy). Its tough to slog through bars and get phone numbers and dates based on drunk chain smokers and your own inebriation,….so you did the unordinary,..putting yourself on line to all the world (I’m cooonnnneeccccttteedd)…..you are a high tech dating machine. Willing to spill all of your heart,soul, and dating requirments to all singles. (I’m not a freeeeaaaakkkk!!!!). You are willing to date the pictureless and homely based on a few lines like “Average” (she’s a beast) and “Open minded” (She’ll do you and your family). You trudge on Mr.Match.com Dating Guy (Mr. Match.commmmm Dating Guuuuuuy). Weeding out the needy, the psychos, the undatable hoping to find your soulmate (she’ll try to kill youuuuu). At least you opened up your odds, leaving the competition in cyber space dust Mr. Match.com Dating Guy (byye byyye suuuckers), and maybe just maybe she is a desperate nerd online like you (Sheeee likes Sushi and Jazz….) at least your buddies will get called gay if they admit they looked your profile up….so here’s to you Mr match .com Dating Guy. Good luck in your search….we are in awe of your technical abilities to bring women to you,..not just stagger up to them in a smokey bar.

News Chicky

Okay,..well the booty calls that happened this weekend served many purposes. ThatGirl is obviously going to stay ThatWay. The sad part is that I really didn't feel anything,....ummm except the obvious.....we hung out we had a good time both Friday and Saturday nights,....but those jealousy issues and bursts of anger arose in her again....and by Sunday, nothing had changed in the bigger picture. I will get into details in another post.
However,......This was a great weekend for many other reasons.....PARTY PARTY PARTY......the end of October here in Jacksonville is always fun. Florida vs. Georgia game,...NFL on Sunday, Halloween, weather finally cools down, and the annual agricultural fair is in town for a week....There is more to do the last week of October than just about the whole year combined. Its a great time to be dating,.....ummm but you have to actually HAVE A DATE.....Certainly though, you can enjoy all of it without someone to hang with for sure....Sunday I went to the third party of the weekend at one of "Da Boys" houses. Seafood cooked every possible way you can imagine,....friends I haven't seen in years. It was great. While T's wife (A) and I were talking she mentioned that she had seen an old love of mine....News Chicky.
News Chicky and I worked across from each other in a mall back in the early 90's. She was selling coffee, I was selling electronics and drank lots of coffee. Her and I hit it off instantly. We dated for about 6 months and decided that it was love and that we should move in together.....She was cute, had a cool second job working at a local TV station, was well mannered, very even keeled, funny, hip, and absolutely adored me.....I felt it every time we went anywhere. To her I could do no wrong,..and truthfully it was the same for me....My friends loved her, my family thought she was great. And there was nothing I couldn't tell her.....at all.....
There was one problem.......she was 6 years younger than me....that is nothing at 35, but when you are 24 and she 18 its huge....I could go to bars, she couldn't. I had many nights out (not picking up girls, just out with co-workers and their wives,...but she often couldn't come because of where we all met). And mostly she was getting ready to start college. I had been through that with my first love. By this stage of my life I had both experienced the military for four years,..had a normal full time job, bills, college, and all the things that go with being 24. I felt like at some point she would move on and probably without me.....I loved this woman but had also been down this path before.....with my first love Eli,...and she totally crushed me.....right after she started college. So with News Chicky I felt like she would be better served not living with me,...going to school and growing as a person. I never lost my love for her,..but I did move on. We stayed roomates,..which really broke her heart since I began dating. Her work hours were opposite of mine, so she only walked in on me and a date once,....but by then she had grown very tired of me and I of her. Soon thereafter I had a girl spend the night and she knew it.....the next morning she stopped speaking to me all togehter. In my immaturity I never realized what my actions were doing to her and I should have just moved out if I was going to live like this.....I was a fool. Within a month we found other places to live and she began speaking to me again. She even came to my new place and helped me paint. Like I said, she was awesome.
Over the last few months I have seen her on television, both of my buddies have called me to say they ran into her or saw her special on the local news.....During the grief of ThatGirl family; friends and myself kept conversing back to the fact I probably should have held on to her. Truthfully, had I asked her to marry me then,..we would still be married today no question....but hind-sight is always 20/20. I have been unable to get her off my mind. Even ThatGirl this weekend brought her up, saying that she saw her on the news and can't imagine us having lived together. She said we seemed to be total opposites and asked my why we were together for 2 years. It was during that conversation that I realized two things....1) my love for ThatGirl could never be as deep or as multi-dimensional as was my love for News Chicky 2) ThatGirl doesn't really understand me.
I never really lost my love for News Chicky. I checked in on her from time to time to make sure she was alright. I called her a few times and emailed her as well. She was very stand offish (as to be expected). Last week I tried one more time to talk with her. I emailed her a nice email and kind of explained that she was on my mind and that I wanted to know how she was......she emailed me back last night. We are going to meet for a beer or go to the fair in the next week or so.I am as nervous and giddy as ever. No matter what,... we have a past and something to talk about. We had some really great times....I emailed her back and told her whenever is fine for me and that during the week might be better.
There is one reason I want to see her and that is to put to bed a demon that I need to shed after 12 years. I want to just apologize to her and tell her she meant way more to me than I ever let on....She deserves to hear that she was an awesome girl and no one has really compared since....I am not going to make it mushy or anything,..she just deserves to know.....what happens after that happens, but I need to tell her and she needs to hear it....I am not expecting ANYTHING other than a reunion with a very good friend and at one time my best friend....but I think secretly I may hope for more.....if she tells me to fly a kite, then I deserve that. So, we shall see and you can bet I will post it here.