Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Hell Hath No Wrath As That Of A Woman Scorned

She called him a Wanker??? Those British Women are dangerous and filthy mouthed,..maybe she should try Orbitz..... ;-)) More later.



Whenever there is nothing to blog about I fill....so I am filling....

Politically Correct

Most that know me, know for a dead on fact that I AM NOT politically correct,.....but.....since I am here to bitch, moan, groan, inform and enlighten, I thought perhaps I should cater for a moment to those who do......



HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
>
> 1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" -
> She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."
>
> 2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" -
> She is, "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."
>
> 3. She is not "EASY" -
> She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."
>
>
> 4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" -
> She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."
>
> 5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" -
> She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."
>
> 6. She is not an "AIRHEAD"! -
> She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."
>
> 7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" -
> She gets "CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED".
>
> 8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" -
> She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED."
>
> 9. She does not "NAG" you -
> She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."
>
> 10. She is not a "TRAMP" -
> She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."
>
> 11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" -
> She is "PICTORIALLY SUPERIOR."
>
> 12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" -
> She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."
>
>
>
>
>
> HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
>
> 1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" -
> He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."
>
> 2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" -
> He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."
>
> 3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" -
> He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."
>
> 4. He is not "BALDING" -
> He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."
>
> 5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" -
> He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS."
>
> 6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" -
> He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL."
>
> 7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" -
> He develops a case of CRANIAL-ANAL INVERSION."
>
> 8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" -
> He has "SWINE EMPATHY."
>
> 9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" -
> He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."
>
> 10. He is not "HORNY" -
> He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."
>
> 11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants -
> It's "REAR CLEAVAGE"?

Cubana Update Coming

Monday, February 27, 2006

Some Funnies To Lighten My Ass Up A Bit



Gut Instincts

In this post I made mention of gut instincts. I thought that Paula may have still been involved with her ex. I stated simply that something wasn't right and I followed my instincts with her finally. Well last week she contacted me and I asked her out for Friday night, but she declined and indicated we would get together this weekend. I left her a message on Friday, but she did not call me back. Saturday morning she left me a message, but when i tried to call her back all I got was voice mail. Turns out she was studying at the collge next door to my house for her Master's mid-term.
I went to wash my car at the nearby car wash and while I was vacuuming it out,....she sneaks up in her truck right behind me and blows the horn,..effectively making me skid my drawers. I was surprised, it was the first time we had seen each other in almost 7 weeks. although we had spoken two or three times, we still had not seen each other. She was as attractive as I remember and we instantly felt all of those things that people involved feel after a separation. I talked with her for a minute and she explained how much she missed me and still felt for me. I took this with a grain of salt, but continued to listen to her story. After a few minutes, she leaned over and kissed me and apologized for letting us end. We made out for a few minutes and it was obvious I had feelings for her still and she for me......After 30 minutes or so of talking and kissing, she left. We agreed (I thought) to get together that night if my plans fell through, which I told her were expected to fall through anyway.
I waited for her call Saturday afternoon, but she didn't call. I continued on with my errands all day, checking my phone to see if she called. My plans fell through Satu night as expected so I called her and again left a voice mail, by 11:30 I had called her three times and no answer. I spent a quiet night by myself, secretly waiting for Paula to call. She did not.
Sunday morning I get an email from her pretty much stating that she thinks I want back with Thatgirl and that there is nothing for us. She said that I was supposed to call her and she wanted to spend the night with me (I did call her). I was so livid,..that I just picked up the phone and called. We had twenty or so minutes of back and forth and I was getting madder by the second. She still thinks that bitch is in my life (since I told her she showed up last week and hell she did the same thing,..just popped up in my life again except a day after Thatgirl). She still thinks she is second fiddle.....this was a huge problem in our relationship. She always suspected I was cheating on her. Everyone that knows me knows that that was not true...there was ZERO contact with Thatgirl unless she just showed up or emailed me,..which did happen. But I was always honest with Paula and told her everything that went on, when it went on.....But here we are on the hpone getting nowhere and me having to defend myself to a girl I miss about things I am not doing.
I have a theory that if someone adamantly accuses you of something youa re not doing or several things that simply aren't true then they are probably projecting what they are doing on you. I mean if they are doing something wrong, and begin to accuse you of those things, its most likely because it is what they are doing and because they are doing those things they expect you are as well. Make sense? I have learned this over the years. Thatgirl solidified this with me and I was constantly being accused by Paula of things that just didn't make sense. And my guts told me something was up....I ignored them,..both then and again Saturday.
I get off the phone with her pretty mad and disappointed. She was telling me how I didn't try to fix us (which was BS) and how I made little effort. I point blank asked her if she was back with her ex or had intentions of it. She said "no". I asked her again....since that was what she was accusing me of. Again "No". After the phone call I wanted to at least make the effort. I took a shower and drove up to her house, about 26 miles away to face to face her. She was not there. I left a note, but before I drove back I thought maybe I should go by her mom's and see if she was there. Its about 6 blocks from her house,...her ex happens to live next door to her mom...I figured I would get my answers. I pulled up and honked the horn,...her Truck was there, so I knew she was. Her mom looked out, then dashed off and then looked out again.....I decide to go to the door....before I can get up the walk,..out comes Paula walking to the side of the house, trying to keep me away from the door.
She tells me to come over to where she is standing,..but I am just standing there looking at the door and back at her and then back at the door.....I knew I had caught her......I go over to her and tell her why I am there and she says "You need to leave"....I ask why? She just repeats that I need to leave.....I ask her if her ex is inside....again, you need to leave.......I ask her a gain and she finally fessed up that he was..... At that point rage took over. I was had,..not once, but twice by her. She had made a fool of me....she had been lying,...and she probably had been the entire relationship....my guts had not only been right once,..but twice...batting .1000.
At that point all I could do was yell loud enough for his sorry old ass (25 years her senior), that she was a whore, a bitch, and a liar. I repeated it again and said yelled at the house to enjoy his new fuck with her and now she has a new house and two cars for him to take,..since he did that in their divorce 8 years ago (took her for everything, and just so she could get out of all of it,..she gave it up and left her with nothing....she was partially at fault,..but he had cheated on her and she caught him). I left,..I laid rubber for the next 5 blocks I was soooooo disappointed and felt like sucha fool...sometimes its just better to not know the truth.....she had gotten me again and I fell for it. She left me messages trying to tell me that her and I were done,..but that she had never cheated on me with him......a liar is a liar is a liar......she got caught lying and at that point,....all she was doing was lying more....and trying to get me in bed and probably bedding him down too,...makes her a whore.......this is the end of Paula....I hope she enjoys her miserable life.....
Some people come into your life and are just a train wreck. They wreck havoc at every turn. They are low on ethics and are only out for themselves....she is one. I will always remember my instincts and gut feelings now. This lesson has been taught to me enough. I would rather over react then feel as I did yesterday....I will be in a better mood later and will get back to being funny.....but I promised the ups and downs of dating in this blog.....and there is your down, or mine rather........thus is dating and why I hate it so much.

Saturday, February 25, 2006

Then It Gets EVEN Crazier

On the way home from the bar, I "Drunk Dial" ~~~this is similar to the 3 a.m. call that you can find out about here.
I Drunk Dial Cubana (the yet mentioned girl). Only God and her know what I said.....and as of this morning, she was mad. I think I have smoothed it over and I have apologized. She pretty much read me the riot act via email.....I have no idea where it is going now....and damn I liked her. But she did say she was going to call me tomorrow...fair enough.


It Just Keeps Getting Crazier

So there I was minding my own business again.....Last night after work I stopped by the Ol' waterin hole for some Friday libation. The bar was full (where I normally sit) and there was a larger than usual crowd at the tables as well. Finally, someone unasses a seat and it just so happens to be next to m buddy (Big Dale). Its always a good time next to BD, we tend to get out of hand a bit as the liquor flows, but its always entertaining and anyone near us ends up involved in whatever foolishness we either begin or get involved in, so its always fun.
I was waiting for Cubana to call me and I was going to leave when she did. But that seat I referred to opened up and I parked next to BD. On the otherside was a very attarctive blond that I had never seen before.....I decided....Player? Or not a player was in order.......defnitely a player.........Small talk started and I had her laughing in minutes. She was older than me,..but not so much that you would notice a separation in ages. We laughed for a few minutes and next thing I know she bought me a drink. Then another.....I think she was trying to get me drunk. For the first hour and a half I was in the bar,..I bought one beer and drank three plus two shots and a gin and tonic.......she said she needed to leave it was getting dark. I asked what happens when dark comes,....she said I turn into a pumpkin.....I said "Hi, I'm Peter Peter....." Next thing I know we were laughing so hard that it got quiet around us from everyone wanting to know what was funny.....she made me write down my number and then she left.....fine by me...I have more trouble than I need right now.
So there I sat....yeah minding and business! BD and I are getting our drink on, and now I have a good buzz going. In walks "Pork chop". Pork Chop is another older, but very attarctive and well dressed lady that sometimes comes in on Fridays. BD and I have our own nicknames and last time we ran into her we named her. Long story but I introduced myself to her last itme as Sir Loin, by the end of the night she was Pork Chop......BD and I slide apart and she sits between us....man we were getting rowdy and funny and drunk....now all three of us....
PC was dressed very sexy and a low cut top. She caught me peeking.....hey I am a man and we do things like that....she asked if I liked them......they were natural and very nice and I said so. Next thing I know BD is fall down drunk and getting a ride home from the owner. This leaves her and I alone still laughing, but now the conversation changes. She asked what I am doing later. I played it cool,...but I was getting drunker by the second. I asked her why she asked and she said well why don't you come out with me to the other side of town. NO WAY I"M DRIVING THAT FAR....next thing I know she is grabbing my crotch and all but begging me....I looked at her and said aren't you married? She said yeah and he'll be here in a little while....Alright then don't you think you ought to stop grabbing my dick? And she actually asked me why....ummmmmmm YOU'RE MARRIED! I quip!
She then procceeds to tell me its okay and that we were going to have some fun......A SWINGER! Well sure enough, here comes her husband. Nice lookin dude built like a brick shithouse and she introduces us. I was nervous simply because some women just like to get their significant others to beat people up.....but next thing I know he is asking if she likes me. She told him yes....and there we go drinking more and laughing our asses off. After several hours...its now 11, she asks me if I am coming with them and kisses me on the neck and pulls down her top enough to get a good look, but no one else saw it.....I told her I needed to go. I wanted to change clothes at the least since I was still in my work clothes. Next thing I know, her hubby is asking me if I am coming and offers that if I go with them right now,..he would get me a cab or limo home my choice.......LIMO? WTF? And he was serious. I guess thats a man that likes to have a happy wife....we talk for a while and sure enough he truly doesn't give a damn if his wife is porking some guy (me) from the bar.......It was right then that I decided its best if I take my ass home......PC demanded my phone number and got it (ummm I think). NONE of last night was right, but I had two ops to get laid.....luckily I bowed out of both gracefully.

Yeah........you never know....and this whole player thing may get my ass into either an orgy or trouble.....I am afraid to go back,......but will without question.....so is the life of Dating Dave.

Friday, February 24, 2006

Types of Sex

I ----- SOCIAL SECURITY SEX

Two men were talking. So, how's your sex life?"
"Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex."
"Social Security sex?"
"Yeah, you know -
I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!"

II ----- LOUD SEX
A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got a big problem, doctor. Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this ear splitting yell."
"My dear," the shrink said, "that's completely natural. I don't see what the problem is."
"The problem is," she complained, "It wakes me up!"

III ----- QUIET SEX
Tired of a lifeless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife during a recent lovemaking, "How come you never tell me when you have an orgasm?"
She looked at him casually and replied, "You're never home!"

IV ----- CONFOUNDED SEX
A man was in a terrible accident, and his "manhood" was mangled and torn from his body. His doctor assured him that modern medicine could give him back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldn't cover the surgery since it was considered cosmetic. The doctor said the cost would be $3,500 for "small," $6,500 for "medium," and $14,000 for "large." The man was sure he would want a medium or large, but the doctor urged him to talk it over with his wife before he made any decision The man called his wife on the phone and explained their options.
The doctor came back into the room, and found the man looking dejected. "Well, what have the two of you decided?" asked the doctor. The man answered, "She'd rather remodel the kitchen".

V ------ WEDDING ANNIVERSARY SEX

A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel! on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary. The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: 'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever'."

"Yeah," she replies, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last.'


VI --- NO SEX
My husband came home with a tube of K Y jelly and said, "This will make you happy tonight." He was right.
When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it all over the doorknobs. He couldn't get back in.

VII ---- OLD SEX
One night an 87 yr old woman came home from Bingo to find her 92 yr.old husband in bed with another woman. She became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of their 20th floor assisted living apartment...killing him instantly.
Brought before the court on a charge of murder.The judge asked her! if she had anything to say in her defense.
She began coolly, "Yes, your honor, I figured that at 92, if he could have sex..... he could fly.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Cubana and The Salsa

Well most of the woman that know me.....committee members (et al) they see and read these things and think.....WELL HELL YOU DESERVED THAT ONE....and then they watch as I embark on another STUUUUUUUPPPPPIIIIDDD adventure. A couple of posts ago I mentioned that love is not only blind, its deaf, dumb, and stupid....certainly short bus material.....in the words of Carlos Mencia (a hilarious commedian) DEE DEE DEE.....short bus...retard sound......Well I drive that short bus and get myself into all kinds of trouble....
What has always pissed me off about dating is I meet a girl,..she is hot, she is sexy, funny, smart, whatever,....and then comes the BUUUUUUUUUUT! But what you ask??? Well but:
  • She has kids
  • She has a husband
  • she has an ex
  • she is dirt poor trailer trash
  • she is emotionally clingy
  • she is stuck up
  • or she is missing teeth
  • she is totally flat chested
  • she has one leg shorter than the other
  • she's very pretty, but 36-28-97
  • she's awesome but a lesbian

you get the idea.....there is always a "but".....and those "buts" are what kills me....now some obviously I can overlook and some I cannot,...as you can well imagine.....I dated a girl way way back.....she was pretty cool, only moderately embarrassed me in front of my friends by the way she acted....she was funny, she was sexy, she was great in the sack....she also had this twitch thing...yep every so often her head would twitch noticeably on her neck....odd and didn't change that I liked her,..didn't happen all the time,...but it DID become rather annoying....that was a "but"

So now that I have prefaced this,.....I move on to Cubana and The Salsa:
Last week, I went back on Match. I didn't subscribe, but did reactivate my photo and profile. I wanted to see how many times I was checked out (a stat you can check) and see if I got some winks.....which I have.....(its a way of flirting without sending an email and I can't get email until I subscribe again). But, I went back on for that and to see if new faces had appeared on the lists yet,..and there was some new blood....I thought about subscribing, but decided that since I was going to a huge party Friday night at my watering hole,..that the probability was good that I may very well meet someone....one nighter or otherwise........
There I was minding my own business leaning against a wall near the back of the bar so that I could pick out the weak of the herd and plan my route of attack. I was looking as cool as I could, because yes indeed there were VERY hot women roaming around.....So I was looking cool, dressed nice,...and smelling good and did I mention minding my own business??? For those of you that might now who I reference in this post because you were there and know who i am talking about have to absolutely keep your pie holes shut about this to these people....I mean it....ask my why later,..but shut up until.....that means you Committee Member "K" and anyone else.......
So in walks two women I know well....one is a full time bartender there and off for the night,..the other her sister.....sometimes works there if help is needed. In tow is a leggy, nice butted, very attractive woman.....HEY SHE WAS AT THE BACK OF THE HERD....I began to plan my route....I also knew that a woman that attractive with all of these swinging dicks around would not last long.....luckily I didn't have to do anything except stay right the hell where I was,..they came to me......YEAH! Just then one of the owners of the bar ("T" a female). She pops me in the stomach as says "NOW there is a tall cool drink of water" T likes me a lot and rarely makes comments except when she think I should be talking to a pretty girl in the bar....I just laugh and then I am introduced to Cubana....very nice very sweet and fun to look at.....
Being a player.....I say Would you hold my spot on the wall, I'll be back in a minute.....she say "Yeah, I was looking for a place to lean" I giggle,...she giggles...WE GIGGLE. She's a player.....
I return and find her holding my spot,..and when I return she gives me the wall back....and I call her my "Wall Spouse" if ever a divorce we will split it 50-50.....laugh some more....a few minutes go by and we are talking....and getting along great....I leave her there....she was with friends anyway....and I in my cool ways.....just walk off and begin to mingle.....but I look back and I was being checked out....she caught me a few times....then I realized resistance was futile...I might as well go back over....we moved to a different part of the bar,..and she stands almost leaning up against me.....but her body is turned towards me...super open posture....we were ummmm errrr well hitting it off totally...guys come by and flirt with her,..but she always turns back to me....now with that said...you have to know that women sometimes pick out someone they could easily kill and keep them engaged, basically like a cat with a toy...they think its fun,..it wards off other intrusions,..and she gets the dude totally hot that she is tieing up to be killed at a later date or time......
She asks me if I dance.........I have stated this clearly before,..but will do so again.....I would rather lose toes if you told me to dance while shooting at my feet.....than actually dance......I can dance,..I just do not like to dance,...and I certainly cannot dance well......but men I will tell you..it may not be a deal breaker,..but a woman wants to see a man she is interested in dance....they get some sexual how do you do's out of watching it....they decide RIGHT then if you are going be a lousy lay or not.....however....you don't have to dance well,..just be able to move I don't call it dancing I call Air Sex...its like air guitar but different.....I manage to get away with not dancing the first one and she ends up out with Leisure Suit Larry,...you know the type of guy I am talking about,..so I thought,..hey thats harmless....songs over she comes immediately back....I ask her if I can buy her a drink...she thinks for a minute.....and says.."How about I buy YOU a drink" BOOOOOOIIIIIIINNNNNNGGGGGG....yeah you know it baby.....Player 1 meet Player 2.
Then a slow song comes on.....so I ask her to dance and off we go....very nice,...a little touching...lots of close talking while looking at each other....AND I got to show her I can dance......WIN WIN WIN.....all the way back to our spots we hold hands....kind of cool,..definitely interested in me. And me in her........we talk about college, drinks, sports, food, family...the whole enchilada and shortly thereafter she is teaching me the first moves of the SALSA.....Hell yeah talk about sexy....she is 1/2 Cuban....in Florida.....you could toss a dart in the air in a bar and hit a cuban every time....so not unusual,..but some of them are beautiful....they are different from other hispancis in my opinion....I have dated two part cubnan women....they both had great skin,... always had a little darker complection, and almost always black hair and deep brown eyes.....very sexy...for those wondering..Daisy Fuentes is Cuban...I LOVE DAISY.
We dance a few more times (each time closer) and I decide to giver her my card and number...see if this was all bullshit or not......I handed it to her and said...there is every way possible to get a hold of me without rolling over in bed.....I would like to see you again......but more than that I want to learn about you...she left a few minutes later with the two she came with...I walked all of them out (err staggered) them all out...I stayed and proceeded to get TORE THE FUCK UP....I was having a blast...the party was fun,..there was a shadow dancing box and between that and the booze the ladies were getting crazy...and I even walked in on a dude getting aBJ in the bathroom....things like this don't happen at this bar.....but nonetheless....it was off the chain. I closed the place out,..even helping them put up the chairs.....I get home around 2:30 or so and there is a message...its from Cubana....she says "Just to let you know this was not bullshit, call me back".
I call her back....we stay on the phone until well after 4:45 in the morning.....we talk again Saturday and Sunday WHILE I was at the Daytona 500. She would call and ask if I saw something (another Nascar fan yeeehaaa). And we would joke about drivers and things going on..it was fun.....We must have talked 7-9 times.....Sunday. Chemistry was there,..conversation was great,..Very smart.....couldn't get anything by her. Monday morning at 8:15 a.m. there is a message on my phone......from her....I couldn't wait to call her and wanted to call her before I knew she called,...but I also didn't want to be presumptive either....

Part Duex:
Cubana and I have spent many hours on the phone,...many. We talk three or four times a day or more. The laughs come easily, and the conversation even when about nothing is entertaining. There is definitely a huge attraction between us. We have things in common that on levels that are inexplicable. From Carrot Cake to favorite colors......I mean things that do make a cool relationship,..you rarely have to ask anything because if you like it,..she more than likely does and if she doesn't she understands why I might have thought that she would. Its very easy and extremely natural,..there is no pressure at any level. I was supposed to go see her while she was on a business trip to Orlando....the night was set and we were pretty sure that I was spending the night. The afternoon before, I heard a crack in her voice and commented it sounds like you are losing your voice.......by th enext morning she could barely talk, not only because of her voice, but becuase she had come down with nasty nasty flu......we canceled the trip down for me. It was for the better,..she was ill through the entire next weekend and into last week. She is better now and we spent what time she could actually talk talking......it is amazing how much you can learn about someone, when you both long to be together and know you can't. She also lives 50 miles south of me,..so drive by's and drop ins can't happen unless planned. But we were very content to learn about each other at the distance.......it gave us both a bit of security in knowing we alread knew we were cool together, but as people we learned more than most know in a lifetime about each other. I have experienced this before with my live in girlfriend back 4 years ago....we did the long distnace thing for a year before she moved down here. We were together 5 years and I can tell you that the bulk of the reason we stayed together that long was the trust and conversations we had being apart,...that case was 900 miles. We learned how to love and be apart, trust and be apart, want and be apart,...we had a very condensed realtionship. Crammed into 4-5 days every two to three weeks and supplimented by phone calls.
The same is true of Cubana. We can't really see eachother except weekends, between work and family. My Grandmother (Nanny) went into the hospital Wednesday night. Although my realtionship was new with Cubana, she knew I had to take care of business and spend time with Nanny. She knew that we wouldn't talk much, but left me many messages wishing my granny well and telling me that she wanted to talk to me when I got a chance,..all are very encouraging things for a number of reasons......
Finally I got to see Cubana again, Thursday night while I was at the hospital she leaves me a message wishing Nanny well and telling me that she was meeting two friends (one of which introduced us) in south Jax. Funny because Nanny's hospital was on that side of town.....I was in NO shape to meet a girl that night. I was in my "working in the warehouse" clothes, just left a hospital to see Nanny, and the day was well into 17 hours long. She all but begged me.
I went to publix near where I was to meet her and bought AXE body spray ( a good sub for cologne), some breath mints and a razor,..to trim my hairy ass up (not really my ass). I did all of this in the Publix bathroom and was ready to go, a splash of cold water, breath mint,......good to go. I went across the street to where she was and this was the first time to see her since we met although I felt like I knew her better than any woman I dated in the last 10 years....

To be continued


The Player in Me

Okay, last week I posted about being a "Player" you can track back by clicking here:
So I decided to be a player.....I really am already one obviously,..but I wanted to just start saying "hi" to every girl I found attractive....anywhere I was and anytime....I haven't had much luck in running into that many of them over the last week.....but I have run across a couple.....

So last night I am in the gas station behind my complex, picking up beer (go figure). And as I walk up to the door, outbound was a beautiful lady. I rush to open the door for her and I say "Hi" She was mid 30's and curvy!!! She says thanks and "Hi" back.....I continue in and forget that I am supposed to find out if she is a player....I get my beer and come back out get into my truck and notice she is pumping gas.....I drive over to the pumps and roll down my window and say:
Would you like me to pump that for you,..I have a degree in "Pumpology"
She says: well I am done now,..you experts are never around when a woman needs you.
I say: well I have other specialties too, maybe I am just ahead of your next need.....
She says.....hmmmmm maybe........
I say: You are very beautiful
She asked: if that was my specialty too....
I said: No, but it was my minor....
she laughed and said thanks. She had a very big smile on......this was practice for me,..since my phone rang and it was Cubana...I had to leave......I left with a waive and she was grinning ear to ear....turns out she lives in my complex.......perhaps the seeds of a later meeting are already sown....
I like this player thing....and last Friday it played out very VERY well. In fact its how I met Cubana......I had a spot leaning against a wall at a party and she became my "Spot Spouse" She was a player...and so was I....more about her next post.....
These are my player moments for this week....one got me a Date for Saturday night......the other got me a huge smile from a neighbor, that I hope to run into again....

THEY'RE BACK PT II

START WITH PART I by clicking here....its important to read these in order.

PART II:


Finally, I get done, and am ready for work.....and then I flat out ask her......WHY ARE YOU HERE? I get this story about needing closure.....wanting to know why I didn't care that she was pregnant or that she had an abortion.....and I said "you came here to find out that? and you came here with nothing proving that you actually were, and you totally BS'd me in most of our relationship, and tried to damage me both personally and professionally and you want to know why I don't care?" Her answer was "We are not talking about all of that....I just want to know why?" So I told her I didn't believe her and that I offered her help and assistance in whatever (and I did), but I wanted proof,..and when you chose to fight and argue and refuse me that,..then it never became my problem.....and I never believed it....
We talked for a few more minutes and she said that she just wanted some closure and she was going to leave,..and I said ok,..walked her out to her car and a brief hug, waived goodbye and off she went....
I doubt this is the last time I see her. I don't think she is through with me yet....but other than her great big beautiful tits.....nothing else even appealed to me about her. I knew why I fell in love with her and her very large very beautiful chest.....but, so much water had passed under and tsunamied over the bridge, that there was no way to work anything out even if I wanted too.....she was...well how do I put this......ummmmmm.........eeerrrr FUCKIN NUTS!
I go to work and she had apparently stopped by there first looking for me. There was a note on my door...from her....short sweet to the point. "Stopped by, wanted to chat a little bit, call me if you get a chance,..nothing urgent. THATGIRL." Ya know how when you have been in love with someone and you share certain things....that when you see them or are heavily reminded of them, you get that feeling? That pit in your stomach?....that release of your personal narcotics, thanks to the pharmacist residing in your brain....well I was on overdose.....Thus is the way a Tuesday starts out sometimes when you are dating....
So then comes Wednesday......and there I was,....... minding my own business......The day was long. I was supposed to be in Orlando meeting a woman I met last Friday who was there on business for crazy freaky hotel sex and YES THIS IS A WHOLE OTHER STORY I HAVE NOT EVEN STARTED YET AND YES IT HAS BEEN RUNNING CONCURRENT TO ALL OF THIS BULLSHIT THIS WEEK.......but I was home Wednesday either way and I will explain why later,..and after talking to the new girl who I will call Cubana, and apparently pissing her off beyond belief.....I get a phone call.....thinking it was Cubana talling me to fuck off or kiss her ass or whatever......but it wasn't......it was NASCAR! It was Paula.....Haven't heard from her in three weeks and haven't seen her in 5. There she is on my phone.....I really liked Nascar....but things went bad for us..because of her.....SEE WHAT I MEAN......trying to kill me....
Why did she call??? She missed me......I do miss Paula,.....buuuuuuuuttttt. So we talked on the phone for a long time....I asked her several questions about what happened and why she got so mad at me all the time (BECAUSE SHE IS TRYING TO KILL ME THAT'S WHY). She said that she was just in a bad place in her life and she took it out on me. I actually got a heartfelt (SUCKER) apology out of her. She said that over the last few weeks she realized that I put up with a ton of BS with her and did tons of things FOR her, and she was not appreciating it at the time.....HERE COMES THE SHORT BUS.......
She is not a drinker, so it wasn't a booty call at 3 a.m. (and yes women do this just like guys do). When guys make that late night call its usually to a girl that they THINK actually WANTS to hear from them and the guy is usually plastered and believes this as fact....when truthfully....I have never experienced one the girls I called at 3 a.m. drunk ever telling me,..YES I love you I am sorry, come over and do me,...and we will get married tomorrow......
NEVER happened, but not for lack of trying on my part.....
With that said, if a girl makes that call.....then the man almost always says yes because we are pigs and we are drunk, and we just got turned down by the girl we just called at 3 a.m. Again win win for that secret society.......See as the theory goes.....Woman "A" gets the call from Man "A"'s drunk ass...she has already tried to kill him and hasn't succeeded,..but just by the very phone call itself she knows she is actaully still killing him and now its taking no effort..she doesn't have to put up with his farts, beer breath, dirty socks.....nothing.....she can lay in bed at 3 a.m. and let the phone ring knowing its one of the men she is killing or she can hand the phone to the new death rower (Man "B") laying next to her in bed and when he hears a dude on the other end looking for her at 3 his execution gets fully underway Not only has WOMAN "A" began killing "MAN B", she may ever actually get MAN "B" to help kill MAN "A"....she is now killing two "birds" with one stone....then she will use her super secret communication network to radio Woman "B", she says.....via telepathy.....
A: hey girl wassup?

B: Nothing here just killing a new one....

A: yeah?

B: Yeah,..this one is weak and lame in bed,...so I will kill him quick..he is already ruined for any other woman....

A: OOORAH, the Mothership will be glad to hear this news....Hey I just got a call from MAN "A" and I am still tied up killing MAN "B" in fact I used MAN "A" to start the death of MAN "B"

B: Well "A" that's why you are our squad leader....good work.....what can I do to help?

A: Well I think you dated,..errrrr tried to kill MAN "A" before,..but before we had a chance to discuss these matters he cheated on you with me

B: Yeah I remember him,....he was weak too,..but evasive.....he got away from me....it will never happen again.

A: Well here is what I want you to do....Go ahead and kill your MAN "C" by telling him you think he sucks in bed,..you hate his mom,..and that you are going to go have sex with your ex,...if he is weak that should finish him off.....1 down.......
next go get a good buzz, then call MAN "A",..tell him you are drunk and booty calling him.....he just called me, I let mine answer the phone so as to start the process of killing both of them...MAN "A" should be totally wounded....go get laid and finish him off....and Man"B" may show up since he was pissed that Man "A" called I gave him "A"'s address and he is on the way over there now....if you get a chance kill both.....if not return "B" to me,...you and Man "B" can decide who kills Man "A" it might be sexy to watch them fight,..but then again...."B" needs killing too, lets not forget....


Okay well that may be a bit much but thats my theory and I am sticking to it.....

So back to Paula.....she is not a drinker and I didn't think she was a member of the society...I thought she was a defector,..but after this week.....there was obviously some comms between the women trying to kill me.....this was not a booty call....but we did talk and agreed to talk again soon.......Yep and there is my Wednesday.....
So Monday: NC
Tuesday THATGIRL
Wednesday: NASCAR (PAULA)


Men I have thwarted the attack.....but I am wounded bad....I ma using the Force,..but the light is getting dim....please send back up.......they are evil and some have big chests,..that I like and want to see again......EVIL I SAY!


Today is Thursday.....all I have left is a woman I forgot about (Defense Mechanism AND its not 3 in the morning AND I am not DRUNK).....or the only one left is NURSE the Eharm/Match girl...I still havbe not heard from her after two Fridays ago when we had communication breakdown....as the song goes.....I dread answering the phone tonight or today.....DREAD IT.
Its obvious I am under a full assault. I am falling back to regroup, rearm, and prep for battle....I think I need a nap.

Stay tuned for Cubana

THEY'RRRRRRE BAAAAAAAACCCCKKKK!

Alright, thats it! All women are officially crazy and all of them have a super ultra secret communication network. They are worse than terrorists,...in fact I am sure that they ACTUALLY ARE terrorists. Secretly, they all know each other,....they talk and have regular meetings....their goal you ask???? To kill men one by one and make their deaths as painful as possible and prolong it as long as they can....now it may not be ALL women.....I think maybe some escape the grips of this secret society (that's not so secret now) and become normal women....they defect and become wives and enjoy marriage,...and to not actually slowly kill one man over the course of 40-60 years.....these defectors are what makes men like me weak and unable to tell the difference......
So there I was.....just minding my own business.....working at my desk and suddenly BLING "You be havin some Mail"...so I open the in-box expecting to see how I can get a lower mortgage rate and a boner all by replying to an email AND win two free airline tickets too,...but there is an email from an Ex (who until now has not made it on the blog, and was prior to all of this). She sends me a picture of her in labor (uuuuuhhh yeah) and overlayed with her kissing her baby. A great photo to say the least.......BUUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTT. This woman who shall be called "N.orthC.arolina". N.C. and I had a great fling, lots of fun, liked lots of the same stuff and had good break furniture sex. Something wasn't right though, she had an "ex" herself and I was suspicious that she never REALLY ended it with him. I suspected for some of our relationship that I was being used for revenge.......on him. But, I fell hard for NC and we all know that love is not only blind, its deaf, dumb, and stupid too...Love is definitely a "short bus" passenger... One day NC calls me and says that her ex gave her an egagement ring. She took it and accepted his proposal....Ummmm hello!! We are in love here!!!! Totally crushed me....I mean WTF? After that she wouldn't return my calls....I tried desperately to find out who, what, where, when, and why....her mind was made up and I think it was made up long before we even started dating...I tried to email her and explain how I felt,...I just kept getting kicked in the nuts......(this is also why I wear an "athletic cup" all the time....got to protect the boys)...Worst part is that she is good friends and a colleague of one of my "Committee Members" (you know, the girls that I think have defected to this side and are spies for me on the secret society). This committee member had to listen to my sorry heartbroken ass moan and groan for weeks over NC AND had to see her everyday too.....shortly thereafter,..NC gets married, pregnant, has kid,..and now is sending me pics of it (this would be the part of trying to kill a man, and this is a long range attack,...kind of like an ICBM from thousands of miles away,...the email bling was actually that whistling sound you hear in a movie right before a bomb hits) and I suppose I should change my "You be havin some mail" to a soldier yelling at the top of his lungs....."INCOOOOOOOMINGGGG"....the hits just keep on coming......
Oooooohhhhh, but that is just part of the whole story here......That was I think Monday....then.............................there.......................was.......................Tuesday. So there I was, minding my own business,..taking the morning shower, singing some stupid jingle that I can't get out of my head.....theres room for stupid songs to linger but no room for my head to figure how to grow more hair.....Nature can be cruel sometimes....but I digress.....so there I was minding my own shower business and I hear something......What was that?? Stop, look, listen.....nothing.....so back to minding my own business again.....and there it is again........its the door? Who in their right mind is knocking on my door at 7:45 a.m. Landlord? The Law? Candy-gram?....I yell for them to hold on.....I desoap and grab a pair of jeans.....no shirt, no drawers...just commando.....If it was the landlord.....two knocks and the door opens.....I didn't want to be caught buck ass naked....I open the door and its............. You guessed it...."Thatgirl"
I never quite finished my story on her,..but everyone reading got the point and it was what it was.....Several weeks after we broke up she again claimed to be pregnant.....and after insulting me and calling me several names she said she was going to have an abortion and that I didn't deserve to have a child on this earth...FUCKIN OUCH lady! After consulting with everyone....we all agreed that it was bullshit and she was just trying to get me back for whatever...and knowing her stance on abortion,...she would have never even contemplated it.....I knew it, she knew it....but maybe she was and maybe she did.....only she and God know (and her friends I guess). But there she is standing at my door a quarter to 8. I let her in.......yeah against my better judgement....I began completing the daily routine of getting ready and she wasn't going to tell me anything until I was done and she had my attention. We had idle chit chat until I was done. DAMN I LOVE HER CHEST ITS HUGE>>>>>>>>>>must think about how evil she is,..must think how evil she is.......damn look at those things.....I want to see them again......EVIL I SAY EVIL.....this was the fight going on inside me......
To be continued......

Friday, February 17, 2006

Player? Not Player?

HEHEHEHEHE Well as I was cruising around the TRI-W this morning, wondering what I was going to post today..Life has been a bit dull lately (not that I am complaining)...Then, I run across a link from a link from a link and my morning changed...the creative juices began to flow. We all know how you can start out searching for something of interest and end up interested in something you may not have known even existed. I reckon the exact same is true for dating....hmmmmmm kind of makes you think a little bit....
I have been in many relationships, that while dating had my heart set on one type, or one thing, or one trait,..only to find that I actually liked something completely different. I guess you can tie this to the adage "Be careful what you wish for,...you just might get it." Robert Fulghum is the author of "All I really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten". I had really gotten to like his website, but have forgotten about it over the last year. Then, I run across a link in a link and BAM I am at his site.....and I run across this GEM....
In my last post I spoke of just saying "Hi".....Yep! Being a player of sorts.....then I read this and it all comes together:

February 12, 2006

Seattle, Washington
Written February 12, 2006

PLAYERS

Definition: Persons with enough nimbleness of mind to accept a surprise invitation to jump into a quick game of imagination.

Example: Here's a city bus driver standing in the door of his vehicle, staring into the rain. An invitation from me, passing by: "OK, here's the deal: I'll pay for the gas, and you'll drive us straight to the beach at Santa Monica."

He smiles. "OK, meet me here at midnight. It's the end of my run and they won't miss me or the bus until morning. I'll get some barbecue."
A player.

Example: This lady with a shopping cart full of oddball stuff standing beside me in front of the cheese counter at the grocery story. My invitation: "I like the groceries in your cart better than mine. Want to trade? You take mine and I'll take yours. Could be interesting when we get home."

She smiles. Checks out my cart. "You've got a deal,"she says. We take each other's carts and roll away. Later, she's waiting for me at the check-out counter. She knows and I know: we weren't really going to go through with it. But the few moments of madness brought new meaning to "going to the store for a few things."
A player.

Example: There's a tailor shop on Queen Anne Avenue. Sign in the window says "Alterations and Repairs for Men and Women." The tailor is standing in the doorway. I stop. "I'd like to get altered and repaired," I say.
She looks at me cautiously. Goes inside. Closes the door.
Not a player.

Example: Vivacious young woman who works at the sidewalk flower stand at a nearby market. Last year she called me "Babycakes"just before Valentine's Day, but I haven't seen her since. Invitation: "Do I still look like Babycakes to you?" I ask.

She looks at me shrewdly. "Sir, it is the policy of the store that employees are not to get familiar with customers." "Oh, too bad,"say I. She's no longer a player. As I turn my back and walk away, she whispers, "Thanks for coming by, babycakes."
An undercover player now.

Example: Me at a well-known company to pick up copies of a manuscript, I am visibly annoyed - this is my third trip to get what was promised yesterday. The anxious clerk, Miss Saucer-eyes, is obviously new to the herd behind the counter and doesn't know what to do with me or for me. The work is still not done, despite promises. Getting mad at her won't help.
"OK, I won't make any trouble," I say, "Just give me a really clever, off-the-wall creative excuse - the wildest thing you can think of. Make me laugh and I'll go away."
Miss Saucer-eyes is mute. This situation was not covered in training school last week. She whispers: "I'll speak to my manager."
Not a player.

Miss Saucer-eyes retreats to the back of the shop and consults with her manager, a high-energy, sharply-dressed woman. The manager marches briskly up to the counter, gives me a steely look, leans over the counter, and explains: "Sir, you may not know this, but this store has been a front for the Irish Republican Army for years. We're supposed to be turning in our firearms, and it seems a bazooka is missing from the inventory. When we find the bazooka, things will get back to normal. If I were you, I wouldn't make any trouble - just come back tomorrow, OK?”
A player.

Example: A garbage man with monster truck. Cold. Rain. As I pass by, he says, "You look prosperous." "Thank you. I feel prosperous." "You look like the kind of guy who might have some frequent-flyer miles." "As a matter of fact, I do. Lots of them." "Listen, I need enough to get me to Buenos Aires, one way." "I've got enough. They're yours. But what's in it for me.?" "Here's the keys to this garbage truck. Even trade.”
Yes! I've long had an urge to drive one of those things. I'd like to dump a whole load of garbage on a certain person's front porch. "It's a deal." "You got a license to drive a truck?" "Well, no." "Deals off - I can't be part of anything illegal, but no problem. Get a license. I'm here every Monday.”
A player.

Example: Early morning. Lady standing at a bus stop. All seven people waiting with her have wires coming out of their ears. Radios, I-pods, Walkmans, or something. All seven are in a zone - nodding heads in time to music or staring off into space. As I pass, I say to the lady: "They're all alien robots, you know. Their souls have been sucked out of them." The lady gives me a hard look and moves closer to the curb.
Not a player.

A man who has just walked up says, "Yes, but they aren't useless. They're a street-theater company and I'm their manager. We're on our way to a gig downtown." "Really? What's the name of the performance?" "Bus Stop Stupor. Look for us everywhere.”
A player.

Example: Clerk in a bookstore - older lady with dyed red hair. "Can I help you?" she asks. "Happy birthday," I say. (Makes people smile - sometimes you're early, sometimes late, but sometimes right on.) "Well, I hope you're coming to my party,"she says. "We need someone to jump out of a cake."
"I'm your man." "You'd be expected to go-go dance in the nude.”
"I'm not your man." "My mistake. Thought you looked a little kinky.”
A player.

The lady waiting in line behind me - who overheard this conversation - drifted away from the counter and then walked out the door.
Not a player.

Later, as I walked by a sidewalk table at a nearby coffeehouse, I spot the lady customer who fled the store. "Sorry, hope we didn't annoy you," I said.
She smiled. "Oh, no,"she said, "It's just that I jumped out of the cake last year. It hurts my feelings to think they're looking for a replacement.”
A player after all.

People in the real world are more full of mischief than I could ever invent. Most are primed and ready to play. While I didn't make up these stories, I had to make some of them down - they were unprintably creative.

Look for players. They're everywhere. You may be one.

The link to the site and this article is here: Thanks Robert.


This got me thinking....I am a player. I do this already. Anyone that knows me knows that I have little problem making off the wall comments to anyone and everyone,..but I prefer total strangers. I have met many people this way,..some are still friends today,...but I don't think that beyond that basic premise, I ever recognized the value or even thought of having a scorecard to make it fun....so today,..since I have decided I AM A PLAYER....I am going to find out who else is, as I go about my daily business.....If anything funny comes of it,..it will be posted here and probably commented on at Robert's page....especially if I get hit with mace or slapped.....as soon as I can type again....I will let you know....
D

Monday, February 13, 2006

Just Say Hi

Okay there is one thing I have learned but practiced little.....and this may surprise those that know me.....but I am somehwat shy. When it comes to saying hi to a total stranger, I rarely perform...without alcohol that is.......but I am committing to saying "hi" to every girl I meet or run into or pass for the next month. I will tell you here what I say and what is said and if aything becomes of it...
What do I mean??? Well I am going to try to talk to every single woman that I think is attractive. I mean all of them......no matter where,..no matter who.....I will do the average recon of looking for a ring or kids in tow,..but beyond that? Well not much! I will do all I can to provoke a conversation...this is the part that few undestand.....I quit doing it because of the results...but lets record them here......I will setup each situation, what is said and what happens.......

Happy V Day





To those in love and to those seeking it......happy V-Day........it's better than happy VD Day which is much more obscure and definitely more annoying......

As far as being single goes......well I can tell you being single on V-Day is certainly cheaper,...but gettin that lovin V-night (if you got game and your girl can tolerate you).......I do miss that.....err yeah I have been there before.....

Okay so back to the Game of dating. I called "RN" this is the "Eharm/Match girl" She has pretty much blown me off since Friday night. I made my efforts and I won't try again....

See this is what I am talking about....dating sucks......what happened to the day that you dated or met someone and if someone else came along you did what you had to do....She was callng me while seeing someone else....did he know? At least this time I did,..but does that change anything? Not really. If she will do this to someone else...keeping me in the wings,..then she would do it to me.....that's for sure....

I have been here before, this is just the way women today are....I am sure the committee will disagree to some extent,.but I am showing you....these are the facts..... Luckily I know this and plan accordingly....

soooooooo here I go off to it..... The beauty of Valentine's day is that alot of relationships end tonight....I had one end tonight as well so I am speaking from experience as well. Tomorrow and in the next few weeks the Matches should get better....I will be there.

Sunday, February 12, 2006

To Recap: Love and Chocolate for V'Day

Prospects?

Okay,... so........ here is the run down going forward.....There are two girls I like, but both are my Jr. by more than 10 years. I could easily get a date with either of them,....but I think the real question is do I want to. I mean at some point infatuation is greater than the ability to have something in common with these girls. Looking at the long term....there probably isn't a future with either of them,..in the same regard those are the relationships that work out in some cases......I doubt that to be true here...but either way I will keep my options open.

I finally hooked up with Eharm/Match girl.......but I think I shot myself in the foot this weekend.....with her. You can go back and read about her by clicking here.
We get along pretty good on the phone and are supposed to meet this week,..but I am second in line...I finally got her attention at the same time so other dildo did....this leaves me as the "last man out". This is tought o over come,...but the fact that she is talking to me means two things....1) I could be the one she is doing this too 2) that he isn't doing so hot.
With that said, I think we were supposed to meet Friday night and some bad communication prevented that. I didn't understand what she meant,....she didn't understand what I meant....I did however know that she was going on a "day date" with the other dude Saturday.....Last time I talked to her was Friday night...she was kindof pissy,...so I assume that she blames me......I left her a message on Saturday and as of Sunday still have not heard from her.....it could mean anything,...but it may mean ol' boy got in good this weekend and I am out.....it may mean that she was (is) trying to prove a point.....WOMEN! So I will leave her another message tomorrow....if she calls me back then we will go from there,...if not.....then she gets relegated to the recycle bin...
The next offer ont he table is one via comittee member. She has a friend she would like me to meet and has guaranteed that she would not set me up with a "beast"...We shall see.....I think I will take her up on it,...a lunch date was suggested,.....and just see.....you never know. This comittee member speaks very highly of this person....so perhaps she knows......however,...she has also put me on a blind date before.....that went over like the Hindenburg.....in flames and people died.....okay maybe not,..but it sure felt that way!
Other than those......that's about it....I do have some new things I am going ot try during the up coming week and we will see if they are fruitful......

About Valentine's Day

The History of Valentine's Day
Every February, across the country, candy, flowers, and gifts are exchanged between loved ones, all in the name of St. Valentine. But who is this mysterious saint and why do we celebrate this holiday? The history of Valentine's Day -- and its patron saint -- is shrouded in mystery. But we do know that February has long been a month of romance. St. Valentine's Day, as we know it today, contains vestiges of both Christian and ancient Roman tradition. So, who was Saint Valentine and how did he become associated with this ancient rite? Today, the Catholic Church recognizes at least three different saints named Valentine or Valentinus, all of whom were martyred.

One legend contends that Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men -- his crop of potential soldiers. Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine's actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death.

Other stories suggest that Valentine may have been killed for attempting to help Christians escape harsh Roman prisons where they were often beaten and tortured.

According to one legend, Valentine actually sent the first 'valentine' greeting himself. While in prison, it is believed that Valentine fell in love with a young girl -- who may have been his jailor's daughter -- who visited him during his confinement. Before his death, it is alleged that he wrote her a letter, which he signed 'From your Valentine,' an expression that is still in use today. Although the truth behind the Valentine legends is murky, the stories certainly emphasize his appeal as a sympathetic, heroic, and, most importantly, romantic figure. It's no surprise that by the Middle Ages, Valentine was one of the most popular saints in England and France.

While some believe that Valentine's Day is celebrated in the middle of February to commemorate the anniversary of Valentine's death or burial -- which probably occurred around 270 A.D -- others claim that the Christian church may have decided to celebrate Valentine's feast day in the middle of February in an effort to 'christianize' celebrations of the pagan Lupercalia festival. In ancient Rome, February was the official beginning of spring and was considered a time for purification. Houses were ritually cleansed by sweeping them out and then sprinkling salt and a type of wheat called spelt throughout their interiors. Lupercalia, which began at the ides of February, February 15, was a fertility festival dedicated to Faunus, the Roman god of agriculture, as well as to the Roman founders Romulus and Remus.

To begin the festival, members of the Luperci, an order of Roman priests, would gather at the sacred cave where the infants Romulus and Remus, the founders of Rome, were believed to have been cared for by a she-wolf or lupa. The priests would then sacrifice a goat, for fertility, and a dog, for purification.


The boys then sliced the goat's hide into strips, dipped them in the sacrificial blood and took to the streets, gently slapping both women and fields of crops with the goathide strips. Far from being fearful, Roman women welcomed being touched with the hides because it was believed the strips would make them more fertile in the coming year. Later in the day, according to legend, all the young women in the city would place their names in a big urn. The city's bachelors would then each choose a name out of the urn and become paired for the year with his chosen woman. These matches often ended in marriage. Pope Gelasius declared February 14 St. Valentine's Day around 498 A.D. The Roman 'lottery' system for romantic pairing was deemed un-Christian and outlawed. Later, during the Middle Ages, it was commonly believed in France and England that February 14 was the beginning of birds' mating season, which added to the idea that the middle of February -- Valentine's Day -- should be a day for romance. The oldest known valentine still in existence today was a poem written by Charles, Duke of Orleans to his wife while he was imprisoned in the Tower of London following his capture at the Battle of Agincourt. The greeting, which was written in 1415, is part of the manuscript collection of the British Library in London, England. Several years later, it is believed that King Henry V hired a writer named John Lydgate to compose a valentine note to Catherine of Valois.
n Great Britain, Valentine's Day began to be popularly celebrated around the seventeenth century. By the middle of the eighteenth century, it was common for friends and lovers in all social classes to exchange small tokens of affection or handwritten notes. By the end of the century, printed cards began to replace written letters due to improvements in printing technology. Ready-made cards were an easy way for people to express their emotions in a time when direct expression of one's feelings was discouraged. Cheaper postage rates also contributed to an increase in the popularity of sending Valentine's Day greetings. Americans probably began exchanging hand-made valentines in the early 1700s. In the 1840s, Esther A. Howland began to sell the first mass-produced valentines in America.

According to the Greeting Card Association, an estimated one billion valentine cards are sent each year, making Valentine's Day the second largest card-sending holiday of the year. (An estimated 2.6 billion cards are sent for Christmas.)

Approximately 85 percent of all valentines are purchased by women. In addition to the United States, Valentine's Day is celebrated in Canada, Mexico, the United Kingdom, France, and Australia.

Valentine greetings were popular as far back as the Middle Ages (written Valentine's didn't begin to appear until after 1400), and the oldest known Valentine card is on display at the British Museum. The first commercial Valentine's Day greeting cards produced in the U.S. were created in the 1840s by Esther A. Howland. Howland, known as the Mother of the Valentine, made elaborate creations with real lace, ribbons and colorful pictures known as "scrap".

Special thanks to American Greetings.

To Match or not to Match?

I am trying to decide whether to get back on Match or not......
Several things come to mind in thinking about this.
First the positive:
  1. Dating:24 hour exposure online....you never know when you might meet someone who doesn't work "normal" hours ( a nurse for instance).
  2. Not a bar skank,..errr well didn't meet her in a bar anyway.
  3. Usually smarter than the average I would meet in a bar.
  4. If they re on Match,..they are serious, to a degree, about finding someone.
  5. You know!...Well assume they are single.
  6. You get to shop girls (and they you).
  7. Shy people are more likely to actually talk with someone online.
  8. You can "pre-screen" for likes and dislikes.
  9. I have had success.....and not...just like meeting someone anywhere.
  10. You meet people who wouldn't normally be in your social circle.
  11. You can meet people that are tired of going out and have no reason to run into each other otherwise.
  12. You can use your charm or humor playing relative to their profile (things they said) vs. meeting them "cold" in a bar or wherever.
  13. You already know something about them when you meet.
  14. You can judge a degree of compatibility.
  15. You might get to meet someone who simply soesn't have the time to go out and meet someone.
Then there are the negatives:
  1. You lose the eye and accidental contact..a smile, a wink, a little flirting.
  2. You can be shopped as well as shop.
  3. Women and I assume men, may rule out someone based solely on their picture, but otherwise would be fine together....
  4. The one night stand is gone (then again that might be positive,..but at least it can still happen to you outside of your Matches)
  5. Things you write, imply, or email..can be grossly misinterpreted because you lack inference and tone of voice via email.....doesn't bode well for those of us with a hint of sarcasm in most we say...
  6. There might be a reason a hot girl has to go online instead of showing up anywhere, anytime....to meet a man.
  7. It has come to my attention with girls from Match I have dated, that they absolutely get bombarded by emails and offers.....from dudes...I mean full inboxes.....the inverse is NOT true. Is there really a difference between this and a bar?
  8. Your profile can absolutely do you in........
  9. Meeting multiple women can be expensive,.....three women,..three first dates,....easily $180 if you like them and you are trying to see if you get along. AND this can happen all in one week.
There are many things positive and negative about on-line dating. I can say I have met better a quality of woman than I have met otherwise....but in the same breath it hasn't worked out thus far,..and some of them were flat out crazy...."That Girl" for instance!
Would this have been different if we had met in a different way? Probably not. I can honestly say that I have met more women this way than I have met on my own,..especially at this age and with the amount of time I have available. Comments are appreciated............

What Happened?

Well, it goes like this....
Sometimes you have to follow your instincts.....if something isn't right in your gut,....then its probably not right in reality. When you get these feelings, they can be easy to ignore......they can also be persistent. With Paula, they were very persistent. Nothing really happened, and there was nothing I could say caused the break-up, but things were not right from the git-go......I just avoided those instincts.
If I were to put it in a nutshell I would say this was the oddest of relationships I have ever been in. It was kind of like dating a married woman,...and yes I have done this more than once in my past. The only difference I can find between that and what I had going on was that usually in an "affair" type situation, usually sex is high on the priority list for both parties....and that certainly wasn't the case in this relationship. In fact, it was virtually non-existent after a certain point.
Paula and I had many things in common. We got along great in person. Conversation was easy and often times we found ourselves laughing uncontrollably. Again though, something wasn't right and to this moment I can't put my finger on it.....There were just things not right. Bottom line is that I have nothing bad to say about Paula. If I was to say what I felt was wrong with the whole thing, it would be simply that she was going to either adopt (she stated that she thought about that for this year if she didn't meet someone) or have a child....I was the alternative to adoption. She did a full background check on me when we started dating, and when I demanded a sort of birth control (any sort) we stopped having sex. In the same breath I can say that there was definitely something there for us,....but her priorities were different than mine. I have been a round for a while and I understand the in's and out's of a woman who wants a baby. If I was to say there was an underlying factor,..then I would say that that was it.
I want a child,..but I do not want it that way. I don't want one for the sake of having a child and then hope I can stay with the mother.....Some women find a good man and decide "well at least I know this person is good enough to have a child with,...even if we don't work out"......to me that is the wrong priority. There were other problems and other things that made me feel uneasy,..but this was the thing that I noticed more than once, twice, or even three times.....in fact during one of our first trists...the comment came from her..."Think boy!......Think boy!" and she wasn't talking about me,..but to me......that was when the gut instinct started and from there it was pretty much downhill..........
I really liked Paula,..but there were things that just didn't add up.....her priority was definitely not me.....once it was noticed,....I think we both acted on it. Had this been 5, maybe 10 years ago,....I think we would have had a good relationship if not marriage. But now? Well, I think at least one of us realized that it just wasn't going ot work......that someone was me....You do what you have to do sometimes,..and I have to go back to drawing board......

Friday, February 10, 2006

A New Match???


Instead of Dr. Phil you get Dr. Ali.....
Sexy Single Suicide Bomber seeks Little Baby bomb maker,...for strolls along the Mosque walls and canings........
I think I'll stick with the Good Ol American Girls.......

Back on the Horse!!!!

Okay well it has been a while since I posted. I think its only fair that I keep the details of whatever relationship I am in at the time off the blog,.......but with that said,...once its over....the gloves are off.......well since I am posting today and all this weekend we can assume I fell of the horse....stupid horse.....

So, effective immediately I am back at it again.....I should be able to catch up this weekend as well as fill the blog with more crap than a Clinton at a podium. Hmmm bet he still gets more poontang than me.... Hillary too!!!